Why Women Think You're Creepy And How To Stop Being Weird
There are a myriad of reason's that women think you're creepy, however, let me first start out by saying that who you are hearing from is Adam Skoda, Host of the Masculine Mindset Show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
Which means that if you don't know the shocking truth as to why looks does matter in dating, I encourage you to read that article before you read forward.
With all of that said, you should know by now how much I despise old PUA advice that says, "You don't need to look good, and you don't need to make a lot of money!"
However, in today's particular article, I'm going to address the opposite end of the spectrum as to why women think you're creepy when it has nothing to do with your appearance.
Why Women Think You're Creepy
Creepiness to a woman is a feeling and they have a hard time explaining why someone creeps them out.
They also cannot really explain why someone gives them the creeps.
I'm here to tell you that it's not so much how you look that gave them the creeps, but it's you are being needy.
Women think you're creepy for one big reason (and I'll give you examples of neediness in a little bit)
You are looking for emotional validation from her.
This is the quintessential reason you come across as what women will often say "eww, gross."
What Makes You Creepy to A Woman
As I already said, creepiness is a feeling, and this translates into neediness. When you are needy, you are unattractive and most women will ignore you.
So what is neediness? To a woman, neediness is a feeling that most people get. It's not a thought or an action.
It's when you desperately want someone’s approval and you are trying too damn hard. Women can intuitively tell when you're being try-hard. This puts a big red flag in her mind.
My friend, looks here doesn't matter. Put a good looking guy in a scenario where he is over-investing, you will be labelled a creep.
Attraction lesson to you. Stop over-investing in your interactions with women. This comes off as neediness.
Where Your Neediness Came From
Neediness often stems from past programming, it's likely that mommy didn't give you much attention, so you essentially seek that in other women to give you approval.
This is the classic example, it doesn't always have to be a 'bad childhood' per se, however, just the lack of love as a child can make a STRONG impact in your social life.
Because you didn't have enough love as a child, you will start trying to resolve those issues with women later in your life from past programming, it's likely that you will come across as creepy to women.
It can also stem from an abusive childhood as well. Why? Because you want the love that you were never given as a child, you seek that in your relationships with women.
This is what makes you creepy to women. Being creepy translates into neediness.
If You Think Pick-Up is Creepy, You Will Be A Creep
This is something that more guys must pay attention to. Because I've met guys that still have this limiting belief.
If you think pick-up is creepy, you can and you will come across as as a creep.
Brother's, this was the limiting belief I used to have, and I had to address it. After I addressed it, I finally moved passed that mental roadblock.
I'm telling you guys through several rejections and experiences, you must address that bitch belief because it will stop you from succeeding.
What is Neediness?
In a nutshell, neediness is when you constantly seek acceptance and approval, and you're not internally validated, you are externally validated. You rely on the reactions of others to feel full.
You have an unhealthy desire for other people to validate you and accept you, this often puts you in a bad mindset. Why? Because you're constantly seeking and taking someone’s approval.
This is why women hate neediness in men. They want to know that you feel like you are enough without them having to give you validation.
So here is a subtle mindset shift I want to give you. Get a tattoo of this on your body if you must so that you can see it every day when you look in the mirror.
"I FOLLOW MY OWN LEAD"
Why will this help you? Because it will be a constant reminder that you are your own man and you don't need other people's opinions of you to feel full.
Women want a man that can fill his cup from within. You hear this all the time "the glass is half full."
I know what you're thinking, how can this help? It can because the more you say it to yourself, the more your unconscious mind will believe it.
How To Stop Being Weird and Needy
As I said before (you are looking for emotional validation) this is how you are manifesting neediness...
- You have ulterior motives.
- Not properly stating intentions.
- You're too agreeable.
- You're changing who you are
Let's get in to the first example:
Example 1. You Have Ulterior Motives
Let's say you to a bar and you meet a woman named Amy, you leave the interaction and then you have lingering eye contact.
You never want to hover around like you're an orbiter, and she senses you want something from her.
Do you see why this communicates neediness? Let's say someone tries to sell you something that you don't want, this is literally the same thing, except it's male to female interaction.
Ulterior motives do not create attraction, it is highly unattractive.
What's attractive is you being confident in your approach, and NOT hovering around.
Example 2. Not Properly Stating Intentions
If you've studied pick-up, you should know that communicating clarity of intent is extremely important.
In fact, it's going to prevent you being labelled as creepy when you are clear in your intentions.
It's better that you are forward with women instead of second guessing yourself. Learn to trust yourself and your own judgement. Remember what I said...
"I FOLLOW MY OWN LEAD"
Healthy self-trust is highly attractive to a woman. It communicates you trust your own judgement.
Example 3. You're Too Agreeable
This is hands-down one of the most common and it's often why you're about to be friend zone.
I personally know several women that have friend zoned guys.
And I asked why they did it. They all told me the same answer, "I don't see them in that way because all they do is make themselves available."
I asked further, "Why do they seem so available?"
They said, "He is there for me when I'm down and he agrees with me on everything and it weirds me out."
And there it is. Therefore, nice guys have ulterior motives, in result, they look needy.
It's because they agree with women and in exchange, they think they will get in with her.
But it doesn't work like that, relationships are not built through a transactional vibe.
This will give women the creeps, she won't want anything to do with you sexually.
Years ago, I was friend zoned my friends, it was at 16 years old. It wasn't from giving her the creeps.
In fact, I knew her since first grade. I always kinda liked her. But she didn't see it that way. The caveat is I knew her for a long time, this is why it wasn't creepy.
Understand that it's when you agree TOO MUCH where it becomes weird to women.
Example 4. You're Changing Who You Are
My friends, don't do this. Even when I was a fucking weak motherfucker at age 16, I did not change who I am to appease people.
Let's say you meet a woman who says to you, "Masculinity is toxic."
And then you disagree with her deep down. But you say out loud.
"Yeah you are right, guys are toxic pieces of shit."
ONE HUNDRED POINTS OF ATTRACTION GONE.
Stay true to who you are and stop this pussy bullshit.
Never change who you are. Don't live up to people's expectations.
It might not be enough to make her stop talking to you completely, but she'll eventually see that you're willing to lie about your own thoughts and opinions, which makes women think you're creepy.
How To Demonstrate You're Not Creepy
So what can you take away from everything discussed this far?
You have to be non-needy with women my handsome friend.
Think in terms of what women feel when they encounter an attractive man.
He is non-needy, shows outcome independence, and is carefree.
Just as neediness shows that you have ulterior motives, not properly stating intentions, being too agreeable, and changing who you are, non-neediness is also a feeling.
It is the feeling that you don't have to change who you are, and you're also extremely confident and bold.
You can cultivate non-neediness through the following ways...
- Show no ulterior motives
- Communicate clarity of intent
- Be disagreeable
- Saying what you truly think and feel
- Bonus: be aware of the Creep Dynamic (The Rational Male)*
Action Step: Show No Ulterior Motives
This is very easy my friend, all you do is simply show that you are genuine.
You are not a bullshitter that puts on a nice face to be liked.
Simply put, show that you know who you are without having a taker mentality.
In essence, you speak your truth and you demonstrate you are non-needy.
Because you're willing to be upfront, honest, and authentic.
Action Step: Communicate Clarity of Intent
When you encounter someone you find attractive, just say this...
"Hey you're cute, I wanted to come meet you and see what you're all about." <Notice the screening frame>
This is communicating clarity of intentions and a very powerful opener when you use it with the right delivery.
Women want a man that can be bold and confident in his approach.
You have healthy self-trust when you make your intentions clear right away, because it cuts right to the chase.
Action Step: You're Disagreeable
If you are afraid to speak your mind, and you're afraid to disagree, I suggest start saying "no." Why?
Because you are getting uncomfortable. Let me tell you the facts...
There is no growth in your comfort zone. There is only complacency.
So start getting uncomfortable and say "No" to women, but say it without reactivity.
Action Step: Say What You Truly Want and Think
Don't change yourself. I mean that. Don't change your values, don't change your schedule, and don't waste your time with energy vampires even if they are beautiful women.
It's when you change your opinions, values, boundaries, and don't make time for yourself that women start doubting your masculinity and they will start testing you.
This is often why men get too comfortable in marriages and they let themselves go. My friend, you must understand that you must live your life independently.
More importantly, say what you truly think, want, and feel. Don't hold back. Be freely expressive in who you are.
Be AWARE of The Creep Dynamic
I want you to listen to this podcast I recorded on what the Creep dynamic is and what NOT to do.
Why? Because, in this podcast episode, I tell a story where I witnessed a guy trying to kiss a woman in the gym.
And this really concerns me because this is ABSOLUTELY wrong.
You will hear that this is a Red Pill type episode, however, understand the caveats I went over earlier in this article, when good looks only gets you so far.
The point is for you to become aware of the creep dynamic. Awareness alone is curative. Never forget that.
It took me years of learning lessons and a lot of interactions with women for me to tell you that these are all the reason's women think you're creepy.
From being friend zoned to now being an author of a book on Amazon Kindle called Become The Alpha Women Want, I can honestly say that you will go through plenty of women that just don't see your value.
But if you change who you are, or you don't say what's on your mind and you accommodate people's shortcomings, this is where you will fail and women lose attraction.
Remember what I say on my podcasts. Don't live up to anyone's expectations. You don't need to jump through hoops to prove anything to anyone.
You are now realizing that attracting women is not hard (just don't be creepy). In fact, it's simple. Just be authentically genuine and freely expressive, more importantly, communicate clarity of intentions.
I recommend you watch this short video to make women crave you sexually and want consistent attention from you because of how damn handsome you look and because you read this all the way through.
Feel comfortable to comment any takeaways from this article in the comments section and you can find me on Instagram at MasculineMindsetCoach for daily advice and motivation.