Why Perfectionism Kills Your Chances of Getting Laid
Getting laid is a goal most guys have, but being a perfectionist is a cock block.
In fact, this article will indeed sting as I always tend to do on my blog.
However, I intend to help you understand why your mindset is everything when you start learning pick-up.
So let's get right in to the first reason as to why this kills your chances of getting laid...
It's An Excuse To Never Approach
Tell me if this sounds familiar my friend...
You get ready, you want your hair to look perfect, you want to have your facial hair completely trimmed to the way you want it...
Heck you see a nose hair in the bathroom and then you walk outside and see the cutest chick all day but then the ego comes up...
"She doesn't deserve to meet me. I should have trimmed my nose hairs anyways."
Then you realize that you're running late to a meeting and you don't even approach.
This is why perfectionism kills your chances of getting laid.
In fact, this is one of those silent cock blocks that most men suffer from.
And it's a clever excuse that even I suffered from it years ago in my early to mid-twenties.
Getting Laid Requires You Man Up
Listen brother, I know you don't want to hear this, but if you want to put yourself out there...
Then you absolutely must learn to step outside of your comfort zone and take courageous action.
Let me be more blunt with you...
It's time for you to man up. Masculinity goes for what it wants.
And believe me, this is a lesson I learned throughout several years and I still get slightly uncomfortable when I am about to approach the hottest girl I see.
So brother, do me this favor, and lean just beyond your edges. You can do it. I'm right there with you.
In fact, leave me an email, or a comment down below.
Let me know you've done it. And I will approach 30 women alongside you.
Perfectionism Stems from a Fixed 'Reactive' Mindset
As you know, this mindset shit fucking fascinates me, and it's something I've studied for YEARS.
What I've learned through reading Mindset by Carol Dweck is this...
Perfectionism puts you in a reactive state of mind. You want everything to be perfect, because you have high expectations of yourself.
Brother, believe me, I'm the same way, however, the funny paradox I touch upon in my work is carefreeness.
I really want you to work on just letting go of how you look. I know, might be hard for you to do.
Especially if you are heavily in to fitness like me. So trust me, I know where you're at.
However, here's the all important point on why perfectionism is a huge cockblock...
Perfectionism stems from a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset means you let what women think of you be the end all, be all.
You are reliant upon other people's opinions of you, this puts you in a reactive state of mind.
Ego Stops You From Getting Laid
So here's the biggest point behind this entire article my friend.
Although you know my tangent on developing a healthy ego...
You must understand that when you act like "I'm too good for her."
This puts you in an arrogant state of mind. So as I said in the healthy ego article.
When your cunning ego creeps up on you, stop it dead in its tracks.
Because your ego always finds an excuse to NEVER APPROACH.
This is where I will say that you really gotta watch your self-talk. Because most thoughts you have of her rejecting you are an illusion.
I honestly want to tell you something, man to man...
This is the one instance where I will tell you from experience, learning the skill of cold approach is the biggest ego check that you must get over.
Be very careful that you don't always buy in to what your self-talk can do from stopping you from getting laid.
Fixed Mindset Doesn't Like Rejection
In case you didn't know, rejection is a part of seduction. You gotta get used to it.
I talk about having a healthy ego in my work, however, you gotta remember that I am coming from the place of a strong masculine frame.
And the number one thing that I must mention is that ego hates rejection. So you will often try to not approach.
Because your ego hates rejection. And this is the number one reason why I want you to start getting comfortable with rejection.
The more you approach, the more you will get rejected. And like I said, your ego hates it.
This is why you want to have the perfect approach. You want the perfect approach. This is literally holding you back from getting laid.
Not only is it holding you back, but it puts you in analysis paralysis.
And the worst part is it can and it will put you in a state of fear.
Start Loving Rejection
Brother, you gotta start getting rejected. Realize that you are alive.
More importantly, in case you forgot on what a healthy ego REALLY IS...
It's essentially you think so fucking highly of yourself that you view rejection as a win. Fucking winner.
Brother you got rejected? Awesome, props, I'm so fucking proud of you for getting rejected because let me tell you a secret of life man...
You learn when you get rejected. Getting laid is great. But since when do you have a learning lesson when you are getting laid?
You don't. This is how it is my friend. Life is designed to teach us what we did wrong through failure.
This is why I say to you... Start loving rejection.
There's No Such Thing as Perfectionism
Here's what I've learned throughout the years of doing this for a long time...
I've learned that problems are fucking beautiful. And trying to solve everything will never happen.
I've also learned that trying to be perfect is a fear of failure. I've learned that perfectionism literally doesn't exist.
You want the perfect approach? That won't help your case.
Here's what will help your case and I will be the only coach to tell you this...
Have the goal to not be perfect but practice the skills that you want to master.
Because there is no such thing as perfectionism, but there is such a thing called practicing.
Here's what we can conclude my friend, you've gotta stop trying to be perfect.
No one can change that around but you.
In fact, always remember that perfectionism doesn't exist, it's honestly just an excuse to not put yourself out there.
It stops you from getting laid. More importantly, it stops you from getting what you want out of life.
Continue trying to be perfect, you'll never really put yourself out there.
And it will be detrimental to keep you in your head, worrying about what everyone else thinks.
Let me remind you as I've stated in my first book...
When you are reliant upon other people's reactions to feel full, you are essentially saying how Wayne Dyer says...
"What you think of me is more important than what I think of me." -Dr Wayne Dyer
Feel comfortable to comment below any questions or concerns you may have.