How To Become Charismatic
Have you ever wondered how you can become more charismatic? Do you often meet people that you envy because they just have social skills that you want?
I have amazing news for you. Today you are about to find out about one of the most profound ways that you can develop insanely high internal locus of control.
Psychologist Philip Zimbardo described it best as “internal locus of control is a belief about whether our outcomes of our actions are contingent on what we do (internal control) or on events outside our personal control (external control)” from his book Psychology and Life 1996*
State is how you feel in your everyday life. Think about it like this, you when you feel a certain emotion, you are in control of that feeling! Say for example, if you are feeling tired, you can energize yourself by training your state to feel amped up.
However, most people believe this is out of their control, that they can’t control how they feel and it’s the end-all, be-all.
That is a limiting belief. You can absolutely change your state on-command! First part about applying internal locus of control, it’s important to have a growth-oriented mindset. You must believe that you can face challenges confidently and believe that you can overcome them.
Develop a Growth Mindset
People with external locus of control are under the impression that you don’t believe you have the power in the face of hard challenges, often stems from the fixed-oriented mindset. Carol Dweck, Mindset.
Often in this orientation, people develop what’s called learned helplessness, the limiting belief that you cannot change anything about present circumstances resulting in teaching yourself to be helpless every day.
Let me ask you something, does this sound like a Higher Status Alpha Male if you are consistently believing toxic thoughts that you aren’t enough for beautiful women? If you have read some of my books, then you know that this is an extremely weak state of mind, and it’s lower status due to the victim mentality of learned helplessness.
How you get in state is getting out of your head and live in the moment. I’ll get in to the tactical steps in a bit. However, I want to be clear that you want to get into what is called a learned resourcefulness state, and monitor those nagging victimizing thoughts because everything starts from within!
You are about to discover that training your state is literally your definitive solution to realizing that you can absolutely train how you feel and get yourself from a helpless state to a resourceful state! These are broken into sections that can be incorporated in to all different areas of life:
Healthy Lifestyle Habits
Muscle Recovery Habits
- -Self Myo-Fascial Release (Foam Rolling)
- -Ice Cold Shower
- -Hydro Contrast Therapy
Masculine Mindset Habits
- -Meditation to Binaural Beats
- -Guided Visualizations
- -The Prize Mentality
Healthy Lifestyle Habits
Yoga and Pilates
Let’s get in to your health! You might be asking yourself, this is the Masculine Mindset blog, so why do Yoga or Pilates? Isn’t that feminine?
Before you assume, I want to encourage you to open your mind to improving your body language, because this is what it’s all about!
Do you want to have strong and relaxed body language?
This is guaranteed to get you having purpose in your body language!
So let me tell you some of the benefits of why Yoga is insanely beneficial for your body language in social situations
- -It opens up your joints such as hips, shoulders, hamstrings, and more muscles groups!
- -Every pose is designed to hit a different muscle group, in essence, it becomes a great active recovery workout!
- -When stretching the body out, you open up every muscle group, resulting in good body language.
Here’s another reason why I strongly urge you to try Yoga, it’s because it improves your state of mind which grounds your body, centering your mind to live in the moment.
Higher status men in the world are not influenced by outside resources and remain calm and centered at all times.
Yoga can literally elevate your state to feel completely calm in uncomfortable poses! In result, you are more masculine.
Now, you might ask, what is the difference between Yoga and Pilates?
Yoga gradually improves flexibility of the body over time.
Pilates focuses on more quick breathes and core contraction.
You want to have controlled breathwork with Pilates because it focuses on the deepest muscle of your core, the transverse abdominus.
Here’s why this is extremely beneficial for you, it’s because when you work the core and focus on quick breathwork, you end up having better control with your core. In result, you get a stronger core!
Not to mention, Pilates has a strong focus on the back muscles such as lower back, hamstrings, calves, glutes, and spine. Essentially you can prevent back pain when you do Pilates! Open up your mind and try Pilates as it can be extremely beneficial for reaching a higher status state of mind.
Healthy Food Intake
Now it’s time to discuss why this is arguably the single most important aspect of state training.
Whether you want to hear it, or not, here are the facts
What You Eat Reflects How You Treat Your Body, and Your Mind Influences The Body and Vise Versa
If you eat fast food, your state is going to feel down. Here’s my first tip to you, cut out all fast food (Arby’s, McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, Red Robin, Mr. Hero, Sonic, Quizno’s, Swenson’s, Five Guys, White Castle, In-N-Out, Chick-Fil-A, Smashburger, Checkers, Goody’s, Whataburger, Charley’s Philly Steaks, Panda, KFC, Dairy Queen, and the worst one, Taco Bell!)
So you might be wondering, how do I cut this out if I only have time for fast food? Consider your options because those are some of the WORST foods you can eat for your body.
You can go to Aladdin’s Eatery, Chipotle (in moderation), Panera Bread, Zoup, Core Life Eatery, The Little Beet (NY), Sweet Green, Honeygrow, Taza (Lebanese Grill), Brassica, Tender Greens, Everytable, Robek’s Juice, Pulp, Leon, LYFE Kitchen, Eatsa, Boaz Fresh Lebaneze, etc.)
Now you might be wondering, but isn’t there healthy food options at the places that you say not to go to? This is my biggest tip to you, find a healthy dish that your body can tolerate. Often people get the unhealthiest dish at Taco Bell, for example. As you can tell, there are several options to choose from in terms of healthy eating.
Here’s what I want you to do to eat smarter, look on every food dish on the menus and ask yourself, will this make me feel good and does it align with my goals to get more healthy?
You know your body better than anyone, so you must answer these questions before you order the next shitty meal and then you are on the toilet all night. These are the facts, your state will be lower if you consistently eat foods that make you feel bloated, sick and nauseous.
Be Mindful of Every Menu Given To You, Ask Yourself, Does This Align With My Goals?
Always Keep This in Mind before You Act on Instant Gratification because You Just Can’t Control Yourself. This Will Take Discipline, However, It Means You Are Growing As A Man When You Have Better Self-Control!
I want to end this section on a positive note, when you get better at being mindful and watching what you put in your body, you improve self-discipline and in the long-term, this demonstrates that you have the restraint and self-control to not act fast before thinking it over.
This is called delayed gratification, and it’s so rare nowadays because we live in a society that promotes instant gratification! I believe you can do it, don’t doubt yourself, trust yourself! In essence, self-control is very masculine because it shows you are in control of your food intake!
This is hands down my favorite way to train for a masculine mindset and a higher status state of mind! When you lift weights, it’s not only proven to raise testosterone, you end up having a more masculine presence when you’ve finished!
You might be wondering; doesn’t this make you tired when you’re done? It can after leg day, however, it’s the protein you consume after working out that you get the full benefits of training your state through lifting!
Here are some of the compound exercises I strongly advise you to do:
Barbell Squats, Deadlifts, Incline Bench Press, Parallel Bar Dips, Barbell Curls, Barbell Clean and Press, Underhand Reverse Grip Rows, Barbell Hip Raises
Don’t lift to impress people, lift to become stronger for yourself. The Most Important Part about Lifting Weights is That It Gets You in to a Masculine State because of How High Your Testosterone Raises.
This is a form of exercise that is designed to boost metabolism and shred body fat in the quickest way possible! Even if you love to lift, it’s always important to do this style of training at least once a week for a very intense session! You’ll find the better workout you get in, the better you feel, ultimately improving your state!
I want to make this abundantly clear, doing this style of training does not eliminate any muscle. Given the exercises you perform such as burpees, mountain climbers, squat jumps, box jumps etc.
You can acutally gain muscle! How you do that is to add strength elements to your routine such as Push-Ups, Renegade Rows, Inverted Barbell Rows, I’m sure you get the idea.
This is done for a timed interval of 60 seconds. Keep in mind that you want to train for 40 minutes for this style of training.
I am a NESTA certified personal trainer and I’ve seen people lose over 30 pounds doing this style of training in conjunction with lifting and they also feel stronger!
Muscle Recovery Habits
This is in essence arguably the most important part of working out that I see so many people overlook and then they have mobility problems later in life.
What SMR is, it’s essentially finding the tight fascia in your muscles and rolling it out with a foam roller to improve muscle recovery and mobility.
It can simply be summed up as a self-massage tool and how to roll out the knots is to find the tightness in your muscles and roll them out. This will improve your state due to less tightness in your body when you relieve the tension and roll out the knots that give you a lot of trouble throughout your everyday life
Here are some of the benefits of Self-Myofascial Release
- -Increased range of motion and mobility
- -Helps people with fibromyalgia symptoms according to a study done with 66 adults in a controlled trial [R]
- -Gets rid of tight knots that are holding you back to perform better such as weight training, athletic training, and also outdoor activities that you enjoy doing with your family
As a Group Instructor, I have seen this first hand at how effective this is in improving mobility in everyone who attends my classes.
I strongly urge you to start foam rolling if you have muscle tightness, not just for state training, but for muscle recovery!
Ice Cold Shower
I remember the very first time I heard of this, I thought to myself, no fucking way. This sounds hard and pointless. The thought of taking an ice cold shower seemed impossible for me because I love warm showers.
Then I did it, and I felt fucking horrible. I wanted to turn it back to hot, but I said “No you aren’t going to do that!”
I finished my first ice cold shower and I couldn’t believe how high my state got. It felt like sheer fucking power!
So before you say, “no way, that’s too hard,” open up your mind a little bit as I share with you how this can benefit your body!
- -Helps muscle recovery and decreases cortisol (which can lessen stress)
- -Its great for your skin because it cleans out the dirt in the pores
- -Raises testosterone and releases endorphins (much like a hard workout in this case)
Why should I take cold showers? It sounds terrible. Alright, let’s focus closely on this next reason.
It improves circulation after playing sports. Athletes have treated their injuries through cold showers because it reduces inflammation in the muscles by bringing the temperature of the water down, in result, it delivers warmer, oxygenated blood [R]
This improves your mindset to withstand discipline to get through hard times in your life, because of how cold it is. You immediately get in to your masculine energy when you take an ice-cold shower!
So how do you take a cold shower?
It’s very simple, you wash your body and hair in a warm shower and more importantly, you want to manscape!
After that, turn it to ice cold because starting the ice cold shower right away and trying to wash your body won’t work.
The reason why is because you will be too distracted by the extremely cool water.
This is my favorite way to get in state when it comes to water therapy. You start out the shower very hot for two minutes, then bring it down to ice cold for one minute. Alternate between the two temperatures for four times adding up to twelve minutes.
You are improving not only your state of mind, it also is excellent for vasoconstriction and vasodilation. I’ll make this simple to understand, when the water is ice cold, the capillaries become smaller improving blood pressure. Then when the water is warm, the blood vessels open up. Meaning you are improving blood pressure and decreasing the chance of inflammation!
Either one can drastically improve muscle recovery, however, from personal experience, I find that hydro-contrast therapy helps with recovery slightly better than an ice cold shower.
However, both are great ways to improve your state and help you feel amazing, in that higher status state!
Masculine Mindset Habits
Have you ever wondered why your mind is focusing on a million things at once? If you have, then I strongly urge you to meditate because this is one of the most important habits a man can implement to train your mind to become more masculine.
Here are some of the benefits of meditation:
- -When you start meditating to binaural beats, you are far more present than the average person that is constantly on their phone
- -Enhances your focus and state of mind
- -Reach higher status carefreeness
- Reduces stress, essentially treating your mind to stop thinking and over-analyzing
This is how to meditate, here’s what you want to do:
- Quiet your mind and go to a relaxed environment where nothing can disturb you from being present.
- Sit on the floor cross-legged.
- Use a stopwatch in your phone, set it at 20 minutes minimum, maximum 60 minutes depending on what your schedule is like. Use brain.fm for binaural beats.
- Focus on your breathing and close your eyes, stop thinking about everything.
- If you ever have any type of thought come up in your mind, toss it to the ‘do not worry’ pile because meditation requires you to stop thinking.
Meditation requires zero thinking. You are going to essentially improve the quality of your life of mental health in which so many people struggle with! I strongly recommend you start meditating starting today, it’s simple! You can do it!
Here’s how to implement guided visualizations
- For 10 minutes, close your eyes and visualize achieving one of your goals. Let’s say for example, you have a goal of meeting a woman, seducing her and sleeping with her.
- What does it look like? Get very specific on where you are pulling girls, whether it’s a night club you like to go. Really get a clear image on the environment, involve all of your senses. What does she look like? Is she wearing perfume? Get an idea on what type of girl you want to pull.
- Write down your ideal girl that you want to be with. Because you won’t get a clear image of your type unless you do this exercise.
- You can also visualize how you want your body to look 5 years from now and visualizing yourself doing the right habits to reach that goal.
The reason why this is so powerful is because visualizations helps you get specific on your goals. The most important part is taking action in conjunction with visualization!
Think of it like this, if you want to achieve your goals in your social life and in fitness, why not visualize what success looks like in your mind?
The key here is consistency. You can’t just start and then stop. You must stay the course and have your mind on the goals you want to achieve and consistently visualize your goals happening!
Just set aside 5 minutes in your day as everyone has the same 24 hours in a day!
The Prize Visualization
This is my all time favorite mental visualization exercise, you will find that when you incorporate this, you end up appearing higher status than most people!
Exercise: Close your eyes wherever you are, and imagine all women are working for you and fighting for your attention. Imagine you are a bachelor and all of the women are wanting to get 1-1 time with you.
Get very specific on the environment. Are you at a mansion? Or a beach? Either way, this helps you get in to the right mindset of how a higher status man with sexual entitlement thinks.
Sexual entitlement means you can literally sleep with any women you choose to be with. The preselection is on point, you are clearly so good looking and so much of a catch that every woman wants you.
What is the purpose of this exercise? Here’s what this exercise establishes:
- You Are The Prize and Picking Up Women is Easy
- Every Women Wants You
- Preselection is Insanely High, Meaning They Will Value You More When They See More Women Want You
- It Gets You in the Right Mindset that All Women Are Qualifying Themselves to You
The reason why you want to incorporate this is because this exercise literally makes you realize how many options you have and puts you in an abundance mindset and out of the complacent scarcity mindset so fucking do it!
When To Implement These Exercises
The very first exercise to implement in the morning when you wake up is a guided visualization of The Prize Visualization.
Then follow it up with another visualization of what you want your ideal life to be like 5 years from now, the key is to get super fucking specific with your visualization.
For example, if you have weight-loss goals, visualize yourself going to the gym and doing a great HIIT training session.
After visualizing, follow this up with a good daily meditation session to binaural beats from BrainFM. Get this done immediately when you wake up.
Afterwards, I recommend lifting weights at the gym or at home, wherever you choose to workout.
You have to make this a non-negotiable because this is how you not only relieve stress, but raise your masculinity!
How to recover after working out is Hydro-Contrast Therapy to heal your sore muscles. Time management is key here, you want to get this done before you work. So depending on when you work, it’s smart to wake up earlier.
You can also choose to take an ice-cold shower which is guaranteed to improve testosterone because whenever you do something that you don’t want to do, it improves self-discipline and raise testosterone! This can be swapped in place of Hydro-Contrast Therapy.
After dinner is a good time to incorporate a good yoga session to expand your flexibility. You can even choose to do Pilates if you want more of a good core workout.
Keep in mind that when you eat out to ALWAYS be mindful of what you put in your body, think before going to Taco Bell or McDonald’s.
If you have health and fitness goals, then I can guarantee you that you have better options to choose from.
Also being in a good state of mind translates in to value, which in result makes you higher status!
So if you find yourself in a good state from doing these state training exercises I gave you…
I recommend that you learn the seven types of game and implement higher status flirting.
State training is one of the most useful tools that you can ever have. You can’t control your state without practicing these habits consistently.
So I strongly urge you to start training your state because it can easily launch you in to a higher status masculine mindset that you can consciously control.
You’d be shocked that most people have no idea how to maintain a higher status mindset! And this is how you can achieve that.
So as long as you take action just a little bit every day, and you will realize that your mood and default setting becomes completely carefree.
State training trains you to become less and less affected by externalities, which means you are completely calm in high pressure situations!
Let’s take Yoga for example, when you train for flexibility, you are calm within uncomfortable poses which essentially trains your subconscious mind to handle stress in a controlled manner.
State is your mood, it’s how you feel in a particular moment. So why not be in your best state possible? When you train your state consistently, you bring your best self out!
You are also nonreactive. Lower status people constantly react to outward circumstances and live off of the instant gratification of the next dopamine hit.
When you are higher status in your state, you are in control of your mood. As Robert Stephenson said, “You are free from the domination of the outward conditions in the world.”
So let me ask you something, are you willing to bring out your most higher status masculine self? I believe that you have it in you to achieve what you want to do with your life.
In order to do that, it’s important to take action on all of these habits. So wouldn’t you agree that training your state is of top priority so that you can be truly authentic? I believe you know the answer.
The verdict is in, developing a growth mindset and high internal locus of control is the key to developing a consistent masculine mindset by training your state and sustaining that higher status state.
You got this brother, keep taking action!