In this article, I am going to talk about the right way to control your anger and how to stop being so mad at the little things.
In fact what inspired me to write this article is an incident that happened not that long ago.
However, what I want you to do before proceeding for you to read The Number One Way to Improve with Women.
Because this is going to help you understand what frame control is and why a calm man is attractive.
You see, I want you to tell you a story of what inspired this article.
Story That Inspired This Article
I have three jobs my friend, I run this blog, I am an online personal trainer and a masculinity coach to help guys rediscover their masculine core and realize that it is okay to be an unapologetic Alpha Male, but have the discipline to control your anger.
What happened you might ask? Simply put, I had a very challenging day, in fact, I had a situation that unfolded where my patience was tested.
I responded in a way that was less than ideal, in fact, I was thrown off my center (admittedly) because sometimes people just want to get a rise out of you.
In fact, if you haven’t been thrown off your center and became slightly irritable, I honestly question if you’re telling me the truth. Because most people (if not all people) deal with challenges and get slightly irritated.
You see here’s what happened, I made an honest mistake (I admit this fully) and then afterwards, there was a build up of events that led to me snapping.
Why did I snap? Well, even though I made a mistake, the next few days there were little things that were called out towards me by the person that runs the division. Plain and simple, it seemed like she nit-picked for the sake of a REACTION.
And then because I was called out more than once, I got irritated due to little things piling up. What I said was something like, “I cannot believe that she is THAT nit-picky, I’m not cool with this, you see, I get being called out earlier this week from my mistake, however, I’m SUPER FREAKIN’ annoyed that she can’t solve the issue without being nit-picky.”
Little did I know that there are personal problems she has going on in her life. That plays a role in how you work with people.
Life is Designed To Challenge Your Emotions
Listen my dude, I want to be clear about something before proceeding. Life is going to test you. And it’s how you respond to it that will dictate your reality.
The thing that I want you to understand is that life is designed not to be perfect. I don’t know if this is news to you, but I’m here to tell you like it is my friend.
If you’re ever tested with life events throwing you to and from by whims of circumstance, you will feel defeated. In fact, you will get down on yourself and realize that the way you responded could have been better.
Controlling your anger requires that you have good emotional dominance. Not bad emotional dominance.
Controlling Your Anger Requires Courage and Growth
When you control your anger, you must have the courage to go in to every tough situation with a full heart. Don’t act like someone that has it all made in the shade.
That’s not how it works. I have a big realization for you my friend, growth happens when you take courageous action in spite of every single storm that happens in your life.
I’m referring to your problems man, I want you to be bigger than your problems. You see, I had to re-evaluate how I acted and admit to myself that I’m not perfect.
In fact, if you think you’re perfect, and that you don’t have to learn anything because you want everything to be perfect, then life is going to test that by making things NOT perfect for you. Having an ego doesn’t work. You’re putting on a mask.
I hope you realize now that you should never put on a mask around women because they will test your congruence. If you fail her tests, then you’re showing that you’re insecure.
Controlling your anger requires that you become more of a man that can take constructive criticism. That means if a woman tests you and says “Why are you so short?”
The wrong answer is you being a punk and saying, “Stop attacking my height.” That’s you taking it personal.
The right answer is for you to make her laugh and say, “I love how short I am, I’m like a very tall midget.”
You see women are designed to read you’re insecurities.
They are EXTREMELY intuitive and can see how confident you REALLY are.
By the way, I want to tell you guys that are angry at women already, chill out man, seriously.
Not all women are out to get you. Some are just testier than others. Learn to be on your inner balance point.
You see, controlling your anger requires that you step far outside your comfort zone.
This is self-discipline to it’s very core. Be non-reactive man and lighten up, don’t take social dynamics so seriously.
You Must Remain Centered When Women Test You
My dude, this is REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT. The only way you grow is if you learn to be calm when women piss you off.
You see we all have days where our patience is tested, however, it’s when you are easily triggered that you look weak.
I can guarantee you that all women will test you. How do I know this? I’ve had over HUNDREDS of conversations with women.
They are designed to see how confident you are. So be calm, cool, and collected.
Even though I admitted I am not perfect, that doesn’t mean I take it personal. You see I know better than to buy in to a woman’s test. You ignore, reframe, or misinterpret.
Check out my free eBook How To Always Be In The Power Position because I go in to detail on frame reversals when women test you.
You see I’m referring to when woman are negative with you. I want to remind you that if a woman is negative with you, don’t beat yourself up about it because self-sabotage is one of the habits that kill your masculinity.
Don’t be affected by a woman’s test. They are like psychics with picking up on your insecurities, so remain centered my friend.
Forgive Yourself For Getting Mad at People
Brother, this is a big tip on being a superior man that is an Alpha Male. Instead of self-sabotaging yourself and apologizing to people when you lash out, just forgive yourself.
You are human, so learn to be kind to yourself, instead of getting mad at yourself. Don’t fight the anger either. If you do, you are just piling on more anger.
So learn to forgive yourself for getting angry. You see that day where I came unpeeled, I knew what I did was wrong, so what I did that night when I realized I had to correct a little mistake at work, I used that angry energy I have to be better.
I’ve said this before, and that is you should harness your masculine energy for positive means. You see since society shames masculinity, most men nowadays are hard on themselves for being masculine.
And even if you make a mistake, it’s okay to say, “look I know what I did was wrong, but it’s all good, I’m going to move forward.” That is the responsible way to respond and not give your power away to the anger that you have.
As I always say, you can have a masculine mindset without being angry. In fact, masculinity is centered and calm.
Look at every challenge to better your life instead of self-sabotaging yourself for being angry.
Let Go of Your Pride to Be Right All The Time
There are MANY men out there that struggle with this, especially in debates. Again, I am going to plug my free eBook again because I talk about how to win arguments and debates.
How To Always Be In The Power Position covers why men test you, why women test you, and how to let people have the frame instead of holding on to your position so damn strongly.
You see, you don’t need to win and be right all the time. The classic way to pass people’s tests and challenges without getting angry is to simply say, “Why do we have to argue?” So much more powerful than trying to be right.
You see when you let go of your pride, you control your anger. When you don’t let it go, you add fuel to the fire. And then you can easily get pissed off and snap.
It’s all good man, don’t staunchly hold on to your pride as this is not how to control your anger. When you’re not in control, you are out of control, meaning, you can easily get mad and lose your precarious sense of your own composure.
This is the right way to control your anger my dude, being right sometimes doesn’t fucking matter. And it shouldn’t matter. Too much emotion can obviously trigger your pain body. Which leads me to my next point…
If You Don’t Let Go of Your Ego, Then it Accumulates Over Time
You see one of the most important books of all time is The Power of Now and what Eckhart talks about is the pain body.
When you cannot control your anger, you awaken your pain body. This is negativity at it’s finest. My friend, if you cannot control your anger, I recommend you follow the tactical steps I’ll get to in a second.
But it’s important that I cover this because not knowing about the emotional pain body can hinder your progress. And having self-awareness of it can literally put attention on it to have power over your emotional pain body.
You see if you cannot let go of your pride, if you cannot let go of always wanting to be right, and if you cannot let go of your ego, then it will accumulate over time and it feeds on to the emotional pain body.
The accumulated pain is a negative energy field that can cause you to snap and turn in to a fucking obnoxious, unattractive emotional person.
That my friend is not you. It’s your emotional pain body. And that’s angry energy. So now I’m going to give you an extremely useful action step to take as this can literally stop you from turning in to an emotional mess.
Control Your Anger Through Daily Focused Meditation
Focused attention meditation involves your attention on focusing on something intently. Read this article and you’ll see this type of daily meditation is from hinduism and buddhism.
And it’s extremely effective to eliminate the anger you have that accumulates over time. So here’s what I want you to do, use Brain.FM and meditate to binaural beats when you feel angry.
Then I want you to do the following:
- Focus on the anger by putting attention on it.
- Be friendly towards the anger, don’t fight it.
- Watch it closely and get to know your emotional side.
This is why I love daily meditation so much, it literally healed my anxiety years ago. And I want to remind you that anger arises from stress, which is derivative of fear and anxiety.
So I strongly advise you to do daily meditation. If you don’t, then don’t cry to me that no girls want to talk to you because you’re an emotional, insecure mess.
Honestly, meditation is so damn beneficial that you will not only become more attractive, you will give less fucks and you will be more carefree than ever.
The first thing I tell guys to do when I move forward to help them with their masculinity is I say “Go to my first blog Ultimate Guide to State Training and pick a daily habit to work on every day. Take action, don’t sit around. When you take initiative, you are masculine.”
The Bottom Line
You see anger is a very powerful emotion and it does tie in to your aggressive drive, however, that doesn’t mean you abuse it.
What it means is you discipline your aggressive drive and use it for positive means to better yourself.
That means it’s time for you to accept your anger. The worst thing you can do is fight the anger.
So if you fight your anger, you’re essentially making it worse. You are not in control.
Instead, put attention and focus on the anger and meditate. You know if you’ve read my blog for any amount of time that meditation is a masculine mindset habit.
That’s why I love focused attention meditation, as in buddhism, they know that what you resist will always persist.
And what you put attention on, essentially what you look at disappears.
So watch your anger, give it compassion instead of trying to fight it.
Then send a prayer to the universe and say, “I give compassion to everybody else in the world that have the exact same anger and pain that I feel right now.”
I’m telling you, this is REALLY fucking powerful, you are sending to the universe compassion.
So watch your anger closely man, this is the right way to control and discipline your anger.
And more importantly, it is HIGHLY MASCULINE to control your anger and use it for positive means to embrace challenges instead of having a poor ‘woes me’ mentality.
Look around you my friend, there are so many people with this type of mentality. So work on your happiness and appreciation and make it in to a skill-set to be the better man.
So if you want to work with me to improve your masculinity, check out my Free Masculinity Discovery Call. Go to services, that’s where you’ll find the option to book a discovery call.
Comment below any takeaways and feel comfortable to follow me on Instagram. See you soon, you are getting better looking and more disciplined to dominate your emotions like the LEGEND THAT YOU ARE.