The #1 Reason Too Much Humility is NOT Attractive
I bet you read this title and thought, "What the fuck, I thought women want a humble guy."
Yes, I will address this later, however, I've been getting a fair amount of guys telling me, "I don't want to learn this skill of seduction."
Not only do they say this, but they will also tell me, "Adam, we are married, I'd rather stay humble and I will be perfectly fine."
I remember talking to my friend James about this and he even agreed with me that in marriages, people let themselves go, I'll leave the podcast in this article.
Humility Meaning
Freedom from pride. Freedom from arrogance. This is from Merriam Webster.
Understand that this is what we want in social dynamics, you know by now if you've read my healthy ego article that I tell you to stop boasting.
However, TOO MUCH humility is not attractive. I'll get to this in a second on why it's not attractive.
But just understand that even if you're married, you'd be wise to ALWAYS demonstrate leadership and NOT lose power in the relationship.
When Humility is Not ATTRACTIVE
Here's the one thing you gotta understand about self-esteem, self-esteem knows you are enough and you don't need to PROVE YOURSELF to anyone.
This is why in my healthy ego article, I state very clearly, step the fuck back when you want to claim superiority because you don't need to explain yourself.
Nowadays, a ton of guys just love to brag about EVERYTHING. This is why you often hear the comment, "You're ego hides insecurities."
However, too much humility can and will backfire. Why? Because as I hear from people, "I don't want to learn seduction, it's creepy."
Too much humility is not attractive when all you do is make assumptions, jumps to conclusions too much, doesn't want to admit that they have a problem.
It's from the place it comes from. It's underlying frame. You know I talk about frame control frequently.
So here's how I see this, when you give people an excuse to not continue improving in relationships and use the comment, "I'm married Adam, I like being humble."
It doesn't matter. Not at all. In fact, she will look at it as weakness. Lack of leadership is unattractive.
Get too fucking comfortable, your partner will take an advantage of that.
Too Much Humility is An Excuse To Self-Improve
Listen to this podcast brother. Understand that even my good buddy James says that we all know as guys that when men get married...
They get comfortable. I see this all the time. Brother, I am in dating communities on Facebook with well known dating coaches, I see this all the time...
They get the girl, then they get FUCKING COMPLACENT.
Then the woman breaks up with the man because of his complacency.
Is that what you want? You want to cause a divorce? Do you want to get married to the first woman you meet because of the chemical in the brain that causes you to make irrational decisions?
Too much humility is a HUGE excuse. And this even applies to men just getting started in dating...
"I'm too good for her, she doesn't deserve to meet me."
Lol. That's an unfortunate missed opportunity. Humility is not attractive when you use it as an excuse to stop improving yourself.
Too Much Humility is a Nice Guy Habit
I want to add a big caveat to this entire section, I am speaking about people who are in a state of fear. If you have a good positive narcissistic self-image (as I recently released a podcast on) don't take this too fucking personal.
Humility and self-esteem are two very different things. Humility means freedom from arrogance as we've already discussed. Self-esteem knows it's worth.
And having too much humility is a nice guy habit. That means if you are TOO HUMBLE, you use it as an excuse to not improve yourself, essentially you will stay the nice guy.
However, as I've recently said, healthy narcissism is also a thing. Go read that article. You'll learn a lot. More importantly here is the number one reason that too much humility is NOT attractive...
You are afraid to put yourself out there. You are afraid of rejection. You are afraid of other people's opinions and you are reliant upon women rejecting you that it will crush your self-esteem.
This is when the Ego is cunning and it has it's downsides. One rejection, "Fuck this Adam, I don't want to continue getting rejected."
Become more narcissistic when you're rejected my friend, this is how to cultivate healthy narcissism.
When Humility Becomes More Attractive
You don't know everything. You aren't the expert. Never forget that. Don't act like just because you know a few exercises that you can train someone is an example of using your arrogance and EGO the wrong way in health and fitness. You gotta be humble that it takes getting certified.
However, staying on the topic of relationships, here's when humility is actually used the right way, you OWN the fact that the long term view of getting better at the skills of dating and attraction takes work and getting help from coaches.
Women do like humble guys, but they like it when they GET TO KNOW THEM. That means it would be wise of you to still read my dating and attraction articles.
That's the biggest point to this entire article. Just remember this my friend, women do like humility, but they like it when it comes from the place of NOT TRYING TO IMPRESS THEM.
The Takeaway
Admit to yourself that you need practice in social dynamics. Admit to yourself that you have a lot to learn. Don't brag about your accomplishments.
Because yes, when you brag, and women test you, it show's you are insecure when you get butt-hurt like a whiny baby boy.
The second you brag to a woman they are turned off. When you try to qualify yourself to a woman is the minute she loses all attraction.
This is when the ego has it's limits. You'll hear me admitting on my podcast I have an ego, that's why I CONSISTENTLY do daily meditation to silence my ego.
Sometimes I will be playfully cocky, but I know that you gotta have balance when implementing cocky funny humor and teasing women. Too much teasing can and will turn women off.
Women understand the fact that you shouldn't need validation and approval from anyone.
They understand this intuitively. So have balance my friend. The best way to demonstrate humility is to develop a growth mindset.
Understand that getting in to the field of dating and relationships, it takes courage to overcome rejection.
As I said on my podcast with James if you listen to it all the way through. Look at fear in the face and say, you have no power over me, I have power over you.
Feel comfortable to leave any comments, questions, and concerns down below and I will see you legends next time!
