December 22

Ultimate Guide to Pick-Up: How To Get Good with Women


What you are about to learn in this article is how to get extremely good with women and beat the game. Now we first have to understand what game is before diving in to the tactical steps and principles, such as demonstrating boundaries and having standards.

Game is communications in social dynamics between two interested male-to-female interactions looking to mingle.

You are going to learn how to become more assertive, more importantly higher status in your mindset. It is also becoming your best, most authentic self in social situations.

People will tell you point blank that status is solely based on resources. That is a scarcity mindset. Higher status is in all areas of life. You don’t want to base your self-esteem around your income.

Women often use the guy with resources because they see him as a provider, not a man they want to fuck.

What is a provider? A provider is the man who can take care of her financial stress and use for manipulation.

Now I’m not saying all women manipulate guys, however, this is common when you start an interaction with her by showing off your resources.

Men make the mistake of thinking money will get them sex. This is beta-programming by mass media and society.

You don’t want to show off your money because if it comes from a place of showing off, you are going to get used. Women want to know that you have nothing to prove in order to communicate higher value.

How do you communicate higher value?

We will get to that in the steps ahead, however, it’s important to understand the mindsets in social dynamics.

You have to start with yourself.

YOU must believe that you are the man that women want.

How can a woman want you if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself? It doesn’t work.

Your internal beliefs must be higher value.

Women want to know that you are confident and have nothing to prove to communicate that.

How To Get Good with Women


“Women Love An Ambitious Man That is Socially Intelligent and Bold in His Masculine Presence”

One of the most world-famous pick-up artists is Niel Strauss, author of the book The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-Up Artists.

Niel stated that, “if you learn to make something of yourself, women will naturally flock to you.” 

So here’s the most important gist of The Game, when you have purpose, drive, ambition, determination, passion, and confidence, you are extremely attractive to all women.

What does that mean for you? It means that women secretly want a man that knows his path and direction in life and won’t break his rules and values.

Game is essentially the way you interpret your own reality by maintaining a strong reality while under social discomfort, however, still standing true to your rules and values.

Most importantly, not breaking them to please anyone else, especially beautiful women that try to use their feminine qualities to get you to do what they want.

How do you stay true to your values no matter what anyone says or does to get you to break them?

The clear answer is to develop core confidence and unshakable inner game.

So what is core confidence? As opposed to area specific confidence (which can easily be developed) core confidence is the highest form of self-trust.

A lack of self-trust is self-doubt which is one of the most unattractive traits to women.

Women are like radar systems and can detect self-doubt within a mile away.

You might be wondering how can I develop core confidence? It’s very simple, you want to develop inner game where you are your own priority and nothing else matters to you but your own approval.

Let’s think about this for a second, how often do people seek approval?

Everyone seeks approval just about every day, so it’s extremely important to be internally validated so that you learn to trust in yourself instead of putting others first.

You want to be your own hero and demonstrate strong boundaries.

How To Develop Healthy Inner Game

How To Develop Healthy Inner Game

Write Down Your Values, Boundaries, and Rules That You Live by.

This will help you get clear on what you value in your life and what you will not put up with.

I’ll give you an example of a few boundaries.

  • -I will NOT allow beautiful women to waste my time if they are leading me on. I love myself more than that.
  • -I will NOT let people suck out my positive energy. I will remain positive at all times.
  • -I will NOT let myself buy in to women’s requests when they test me. I remain unshakable in my own presence.

Here are some examples of a few of my values:

  • -I value my healthy lifestyle and growth mindset.
  • -I value my hard work to train hard and recover from the workouts.
  • -I value my time and won’t let others waste it.

You are going to realize that you value yourself much more often when you do this exercise. I promise that this is going to help you develop strong unshakable inner game.

However, you must remember to read your values, rules, and boundaries so you don’t forget them.

Here are the rules that I live by to show you how to come up with your standards:

  • -I don’t let complainers bring my mood down. I always draw my state from within.
  • -I love myself enough to hold myself accountable and stop being hard on myself. Instead, I forgive myself for past mistakes and I am completely accountable. I will be kind to myself.
  • -I do not let beautiful women influence me with their feminine qualities and requests.

The last and most important aspect to developing strong inner game is to have a strong inner belief that you are the prize that women want!

You are what they want whether they know it yet, or not.

Women prize you because rare authentic genuine guys are hard to come by!

This prevents you from ending up in the friend zone.

Outer Game Manifestation

High Status Conversations

By knowing that you are internally validated, you now understand that your self-worth and values are of top priority. And here’s how you stay true to them. It’s when you are out in a public place and it’s time to socialize.

The key is to be in the flow state and let go of all expectations. Don’t ever expect phone numbers. It puts you in a taker mentality and it’s highly unattractive to all women.

Now, here’s one big rule of outer game manifestation, stop self-monitoring and self-sabotaging when a woman rejects you.

Scratch all of it, you don’t care! So here’s how your outer game manifests in the bars and nightclubs…

You are in your own world and everyone you meet is like a friend you’ve never met yet. It’s also important to have a playful opener, so I’ll give you an example of a playful opener…

“So what are you looking at? Did you want something?”

This is an excellent opener to use when you see a woman giving you the green light with her eye contact. When you have strong self-belief and inner game, women are easily drawn to you.

You can stack as the conversation goes on. The back-and-forth banter will start quickly with this opener!

Here are one of my favorite openers that I strongly recommend you use at the bars and nightclubs when you see a woman checking you out with her eyes

“Hey I noticed you were staring at me from across the room, are you trying to start a fight?”

I want to briefly cover bantering because this is TRULY how to become a man that women want to be with!

And this is going to help you be quick on your feet and more socially calibrated with teases. Being calibrated means that you can read her social cues that she is invested and you know that she can take a tease.

First and foremost, let’s talk about how most conversations play out. Ever had this happen to you when you meet a woman?

You say “Hey how are you doing?”

She responds, “I’m okay how are you doing?

You say, “I’m good, thanks.”

Do you see what’s wrong here? This is boring, bland, and forgettable. Here’s how to have amazing higher status conversations, you want to be random, quick and funny!

You say, “So how’s your day going Jessica? Did you have smack anyone that pissed you off? You seem like a girl that would do that.”

She responds, “Yeah I smacked a few guys that wouldn’t get their shit straightened out.”

You say, “That’s cute, did you smack them or did you choke them out?”

She says, “I totally choked one out.”

Now do you see how you take this in to sexual tension? This is how to banter in a way that is playful. Women love this type of energetic playful energy!

Now I want to briefly go over breaking commonalities. This is one of the secrets to building attraction. I strongly urge you to start doing this because it’s unpredictable and it builds fast attraction!

Let’s say she say’s “I love to play the violin.”

You say, “Dammit.”

She will say “What’s wrong?”

You say, “I should have told you, I play guitar and the violin, but here’s the thing, I’m sooo good that you’d get jealous and throw chairs me and start a riot.

There’s no way we can be friends because you’d start throwing chairs at me and everything would just turn in to a massive shit show. It’s too bad because you seem like a nice girl.”

She might say, “Yeah I am nice person, but you seem like an ass.”

You say, “I know right? I’m a world class asshole. You wouldn’t want to date me because I’m the guy you’re parents warned you about. It doesn’t matter, there’s no way you can keep up with me.”

The more you break commonalities as this is extremely powerful to getting same night lays!

But I have to make one thing clear…

Don’t get frustrated if it doesn’t happen. 

Learning pick-up requires several failures before you succeed. 

So my friend, don’t focus on an outcome. Be outcome independent. 

Don’t have a taker mentality like you want to pull her in an outcome.

Women pick-up on it more than what you think.

In fact this is why you should never pick up women at the gym.

Don’t do that, focus on working out because that’s what the gym is for.

However, you’ll find that after you workout, you have more confidence to take courageous action after your workout.

Confidence doesn’t come through being someone you’re not. 

It comes from taking consistent action because let’s face it, you gotta take action for YOU, and stand comfortably on your own two feet before you start picking up women.

Report: Why Women Want You To Embrace The KILLER Inside Yourself

Nonverbal Communication - How To Get Good with Women

Nonverbal Communication – The Honest Signals

This is one of the most important principles to master in social dynamics. There are so many ways to communicate confidence through communications but one nervous mannerism in your non-verbal’s, women know that you aren’t congruent.

In my book on Amazon (You’ll learn how to develop authority in your nonverbal communication) however, I’ll briefly go over a few things to show confidence in your body language.

  • -Take up space in how you walk.
  • -Show certainty in your approach when interacting with women.

I want to also tell you how to take your body language to the next level! So lets about higher status body language:

  • -Open your body up around others. Particularly your hands, keep them in view and not in your pockets.
  • -Be prideful in who you are. Meaning you want to be vulnerable with your body language.

So why is having higher status body language so damn important? Because this is how you make a killer first impression without saying a word! Women will naturally be attracted to you if you just practice all of these steps!

How To Get Good with Women

Report: How to Build The Confidence of An Alpha Male and Remove Limiting Beliefs

What is Attraction? 

We have to discuss what attraction is because most people forget that attraction happens in stages. And based on what most people call ‘fate’ is actually a myth. Attraction is not fate. It happens over time.

If we dive deep in to social psychology, interpersonal attraction is defined as a positive attitude and investment toward a particular person that provoke desire caused by three components of attitudes. 

The three attitudes are cognitive, behavioral, and affection*

That means attraction is triggered through a series of attitudes, often through positive feelings, behaviors, and beliefs of oneself.

That goes without saying there is more to it than just the three attitudes my friend.

In my book Closer’s Guide to Seduction I discuss in way more detail what women are attracted to in an ideal partner. 

How To Develop Higher Status Self-Love

That is why you must develop higher status self love.

So I’m going to give you a very easy task to complete that will give you higher status self-love.

Write down 25 things that you think are great about you.

So the next time you catch yourself saying a woman is out of your league, you read this list, and realize you are higher value than one quality she has, which is physical attractiveness.

You don’t know her, so why give a damn?

I want you to love yourself fully. Or you cannot expect a loving relationship.

How can you have a relationship with someone else if you can’t return that same amount of love to yourself?

It doesn’t work. This is a required task to complete if you want to get good with women.

Update on this section: Keep in mind that higher status self-love can and will give you a healthy ego. 

A healthy ego is attractive when used in the right context as cocky funny humor. Don’t overdo it my friend.

Attraction Weapon – Wide Range of Tonalities

Attraction Weapon - Wide Range of Tonalities

One of the most effective ways to build attraction is to focus on voice tonality while flirting.

So here’s what I want you to do the next time you talk to a woman.

Be comfortable, fully present, and have a witty tonality when you tease her.

Why? Because most women pick up on your delivery then what’s being said.

Practice having a witty tonality because you are going to make her laugh based on how you tease her. 

It’s not about the teases and lines themselves, more importantly, you’re tonality is extremely important. 

Meaning don’t have an upward inflection in your voice because this puts her on a pedestal. 

It all stems down to the ten thousand foot perspective, you want to have fun and tease her, even challenge her as most men are afraid to tease and challenge women.

I’m going to give you three different tonalities to practice

First one is Seeking Rapport Tonality (it seeks friendship) you only want to use this with your friends only.

Second one is Neutral Rapport Tonality (it communicates that you’re on the same level) good to use with women when you are having a fun conversation.

Third one is Breaking Rapport Tonality (this is the tonality that you want to use with women when you tease and challenge them.) 

You build attraction when you break rapport with women. Remember the routine on breaking commonalities?

This is the tonality you want to use with women, it’s like you have witty line delivery but you are talking at a downward inflection.

Meaning you are going to get her attention and keep it while conversing with her. 

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Attraction Weapon - Wide Range of Tonalities


The most important concept in social dynamics is understanding yourself and knowing who you are because this is what’s communicated in all social interactions.

You want to communicate your values, boundaries, and standards. This is your code of life.

Understanding the power of Inner Game is arguably more important than Outer Game because this is what women pick up on most of all. You want to accept yourself fully and own your flaws.

No one else is going to do this for you. How you do that is you develop higher status self-love and self-trust. 

Then once you get clear on all your values, boundaries, rules, and standards, outer game will manifest naturally and you become much more bold, assertive, and picking up women becomes easy.

Women want a man that isn’t easily swayed from his beliefs. 

The last important point to this entire article is to understand flirting and being a challenge.

Just knowing how to break rapport with your voice tonality in a fun and playful way is how to be a challenge.

Picking up women also requires that you don’t hide who you are by putting on a mask.

Communicate clarity of intentions my friend. Be genuine but also show women that you have boundaries. This puts you in the masculine role.

One last point I want to tell you…

A lot of people have a twisted perception on pick-up and think it’s creepy.

This put’s you in your head and you give off uneasiness. Learn to get out of your head.

If you feel creepy, then you transfer that emotion to everyone else, it’s the law of state transference.

Instead, I recommend you meditate to binaural beats. You’ll get out of your head when you do.

Pick-up is you becoming your most attractive and congruent self. Not what society distorts it out to be.

Thank you for reading through this entire article.

If you leave a comment down below, I’ll do my best to respond.




Communications, Flirting, How To Pick Up Women, Nonverbal Communication, Pick-Up, The Game by Niel Strauss

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