February 6

The Ultimate Guide to Pick-Up: How to Get Good with Women


Ultimate Guide to Pick-Up:

How to Get Good with Women

What is Game?

What you are about to learn in this article is how to get extremely good with women and beat the game. Now we first have to understand what game is before diving in to the tactical steps and principles, such as demonstrating boundaries and having standards. Attracting women is the goal, not to be a nice guy.

Game is communications in social dynamics between two interested male-to-female interactions looking to mingle.

You will find out how to attract women throughout this ultimate guide to pick-up. You will learn about developing confident body language. If you want to start dating and have more fun with women, look no further.

You are going to learn how to become more assertive, more importantly, become higher status in your mindset. It is also becoming your best, most authentic self in social situations.

People will tell you point blank that status is solely based on resources. That is a scarcity mindset. Higher status is in all areas of life. You don't want to base your self-esteem around your income.

Women often use the guy with resources because they see him as a provider, not a man they want to fuck. In fact, beautiful woman can easily seduce you to spend more money on them.

What is a provider? A provider is the man who can take care of her financial stress and use for manipulation. This does not attract women.

Most men mistake this common belief that making more money will get you good with women. But that couldn't be further from the truth.

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Not All Girls Are Manipulative, But You'll Come Across Quite a Few

Now I'm not saying all women manipulate guys, however, this is common when you start an interaction with her by showing off your resources.

You don't want to show off your money because if it comes from a place of showing off, you are going to get used. Women want to know that you have nothing to prove in order to communicate higher value.

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How do you communicate higher value? Many ways to do that, I'll get to some key points on how this can become second nature.

We will get to that in the steps ahead, however, it's important to understand the mindsets in social dynamics.

You have to start with yourself. You must believe you are attractive to women. You must believe that you are the man that women want and put a stop to people pleasing bullshit.

Never Seek Approval in The Dating Scene

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How can a woman want you if you don't have a good relationship with yourself? It doesn't work. Especially if you base your self esteem around the money you make.

Your internal beliefs must be higher value and start working on your social skills. This is about developing social skills, not being flashy with your money.

Women want to know that you are confident and have nothing to prove to communicate that.

I know that a lot of men out there always try to work in to social interactions how much they make.

That's cool if you do well for yourself. What I want you to do is to stop leading with resources.

And don't make the mistake of assuming money is high status. It couldn't be further from the truth.

High status is everything not faked. You gotta believe you are high status. Even if you have to fake it.

I'd rather you act as if you are high status as opposed to behave low status and seek approval.

I really want to make myself clear in this section, if you want to learn pick-up the right way..

You must understand that when you talk to a girl, she is silently judging you. Hard to swallow, I will cover that in the next section.

How Do You Communicate Higher Value?

“Women Love An Ambitious Man That is Socially Intelligent and Bold in His Masculine Presence.”

One of the most world-famous pick-up artists is Niel Strauss, author of the book The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-Up Artists.

Niel stated that, “if you learn to make something of yourself, women will naturally flock to you.” 

So here's the most important gist of The Game, when you have purpose, drive, ambition, determination, passion, and confidence, you are extremely attractive to all women.

What does that mean for you? It means that women secretly want a man that knows his path and direction in life and won't break his rules and values.

Essentially the way you attract women is by maintaining a strong reality, however, still standing true to your rules and values.

Most importantly, not breaking them to please anyone else, especially beautiful women that try to use their feminine qualities to get you to do what they want.

How do you stay true to your values no matter what anyone says or does to get you to break them?

The clear answer is to develop core confidence and unshakable inner game. Your self confidence is top priority. This is what will attract women effortlessly.

So what is core confidence? As opposed to area specific confidence (which can easily be developed) core confidence is the highest form of self-trust.

A lack of self-trust is self-doubt which is one of the most unattractive traits to women. Women are like radar systems and can detect self-doubt within a mile away.

Women will start talking about you instantly and in a snap second, they know where you are on the pecking order.

This is called a heuristic and it's a cognitive bias that all human beings (especially women) judge guys very fast.

Let's think about this for a second, how often do people seek approval? You won't attract women doing that shit. Cut the crap. You don't need anyone's approval.

Everyone seeks approval just about every day, so it's extremely important to be internally validated so that you learn to trust in yourself instead of putting others first.

You might be wondering how can I develop core confidence? It's very simple, you want to develop inner game where you are your own priority and nothing else matters to you but your own approval.

This is how to get a strong frame fast. Self-validation women find attractive. In everyday life, women talk about the most confident man they meet.

You want to be your own hero and demonstrate strong boundaries. But also never forget to demonstrate positive emotions.

How To Develop Healthy Inner Game

Write Down Your Values, Boundaries, and Rules That You Live by.

This will help you get clear on what you value in your life and what you will not put up with.

I'll give you an example of a few boundaries.

  • I will NOT allow beautiful women to waste my time if they are leading me on. I love myself more than that.
  • I will NOT let people suck out my positive energy. I will remain positive at all times.
  • I will NOT let myself buy in to women's requests when they test me. I remain unshakable in my own presence.

Here are some examples of a few of my values:

  • I value my healthy lifestyle and growth mindset.
  • I value my hard work to train hard and recover from the workouts.
  • I value my time and won't let others waste it.

How can women know what you stand for? You do that by developing healthy inner game and get clarity on your values and boundaries.

You are going to realize that you value yourself much more often when you do this exercise. I promise that this is going to help you develop strong unshakable inner game.

However, you must remember to read your values, rules, and boundaries so you don't forget them. Never throw aside your values because you want to spend money on girls.

Here are the rules that I live by to show you how to come up with your standards:

  • I don't let complainers bring my mood down. I always draw my state from within.

  • I love myself enough to hold myself accountable and stop being hard on myself. Instead, I forgive myself for past mistakes and I am completely accountable. I will be kind to myself.

  • I do not let beautiful women influence me with their feminine qualities and requests.

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The last and most important aspect to developing strong inner game is to have a strong inner belief that you are the prize that women want!

You are what they want whether they know it yet, or not.

Women prize you because rare authentic genuine guys are hard to come by!

This prevents you from being friend zoned. Never try to compare yourself to women. You don't need the same skills as them. Learn to break rapport. More on this later.

If you want to get good with women, that means you stop being too friendly with girls.

Learning social skills requires you to be bold in this dating game.

The Dark Side of Pick-Up

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If you want to know how to get good with women, you must know about the dark side of game.

Men will spend their whole life savings on this idea of getting attention from girls.

And what good does that do for the rich guy?

He ends up not fulfilled, if anything more empty than ever.

I interviewed Hannah Spanke on my show, something that really stood out to me about this interview is high status men that went to see her for paid intimacy, they were technically a desirable bachelor.

This is an example of the dark side of pick up. Men will go to extreme depths to spend everything they make for affection.

This is not how you attract girls. Often, women use their sex drive as a power tool.

I am not saying Hannah is manipulative, in fact, if anything, I have a lot of respect for her for leaving the adult entertainment industry.

I am simply pointing out to you the reader, you don't need to spend money on girls to attract them.

Hotter Women Test Harder Than Ever

I remember walking up to a hot girl by the dance floor and ask, "Why haven't you asked me to dance yet?"

Be prepared for anything. In fact, one time I did this and she looked at me like, "You gotta be kidding me." Even though my heart was racing, I held my frame, looked at her for what seemed to be twenty seconds.

I waited. Nothing is said for awhile.

..two seconds..

..ten seconds..

She said to me, "Why haven't you asked me?"

I looked at her with a slight tension glance, extended my hand out and said, "Lets dance."

This right here is the perfect example of a test. And another great example of passing her test.

Good job Adam. Fucking legend. Be your own hero.

Women will not believe you at first. They have a very high guard because they have been hit on consistently.

Get over it my friend. It's called an interpersonal hierarchy, I cover this in my second dating eBook.

Here's the thing you must know about hotter women that are 9s and 10s.

They test harder than the average woman. They look for weakness. They want you to win, but they are more skeptical than ever.

Don't get mad at girls for this, it's in their DNA to look for weakness. Hot girls can get away with a lot simply by leveraging their seductive energy.

This is why I am so annoying on my podcast in which I call out guys consistently for being weak when they buy women drinks they don't need.

High Status Conversational Opener

You now understand that your self-worth and values are of top priority. And here's how you stay true to them. It's when you are out in a public place and it's time to socialize.

The key is to be in the flow state and let go of all expectations. Don't ever expect phone numbers. It puts you in a taker mentality and it's highly unattractive to all women.

Now, here's one big rule of outer game manifestation, stop self-monitoring and self-sabotaging when a woman rejects you.

Scratch all of it, you don't care! It's time you start showing genuine interest. So here's how your outer game manifests in the bars and nightclubs…

You are in your own world. This is called self-amusement. It's also important to have a playful opener, so I'll give you an example of a playful opener you can say to a successful woman…

“So what are you looking at? Did you want something?” <When you see her looking at you>

This is an excellent opener to use when you see a woman giving you the green light with her eye contact. When you have strong self-belief and inner game, women are easily drawn to you.

You can stack as the conversation goes on. The back-and-forth banter will start quickly with this opener. Hot women often believe most guys cannot banter.

If you want to get good with women, it's time you grab your balls and learn this skill. An attractive woman wants to meet socially savvy guys.

Attract Women Fast By Being Playful in Conversations

In order to get a good sense of humor, banter is a critical skill to learn. More importantly, communicate your personality traits.

Here are one of my favorite openers that I strongly recommend you use at the bars and nightclubs when you see a woman checking you out with her eyes. Look at her eye contact. Go talk to girls.

Women want you to approach! So walk up to her in the present moment and say...

“Hey, I noticed you were staring at me from across the room, are you trying to start a fight?”

I want to briefly cover bantering because this right here is highly attractive to women. Raise up your self esteem my friend, women talk. Get them talking positively about you to their friends.

Being playful will help you be quick on your feet and more socially calibrated with teases. Being calibrated means that you can read her social cues that she is invested.

Mistakes All Men Make When Trying to Attract Women

First and foremost, let's talk about how most conversations play out. Ever had this happen to you when you meet a woman?

You say “Hey how are you doing?”

She responds, “I'm okay how are you doing?

You say, “I'm good, thanks.”

Do you see what's wrong here? This is boring, bland, and forgettable. Here's how to have amazing higher status conversations, you want to be random, quick and funny!

Effortless High Status Conversations

If you want to date girls, overcome your social anxiety my friend, and develop your sense of humor.

Go talk to girls brother. Go be social. If you get a sense that the girl you choose to talk to can take a tease, here's what you can say...

“So how's your day going Jessica? Did you have smack anyone that pissed you off? You seem like a girl that would do that.”

That's much better. You're learning curve with getting good with women requires you to be playful.

She responds, “Yeah I smacked a few guys that wouldn't get their shit straightened out.”

You say, “That's cute, did you smack them or did you choke them out?”

She says, “I totally choked one out.”

You want to have open communication with girls and freely express yourself.

Now do you see how you take this in to sexual tension? This is how to banter in a way that is playful. Women love this type of energetic playful energy!

So lets say you're at a bar, you see random people, you meet someone named Maria...

Let's say Maria say's “I love to play the violin.”

You say, “Dammit.”

She will say “What's wrong?”

You say, “I should have told you Maria, I play the violin too, but here's the thing, I'm sooo good that you'd get jealous and throw chairs me and start a riot.

There's no way we can be friends because you'd start throwing chairs at me and everything would just turn in to a massive shit show. It's too bad because you seem like a nice girl, Maria.”

She might say, “Yeah I am nice person, but you seem like an ass.”

You say, “I know right? I'm a douchebag. I can totally agree with that.”

This is how to tease women effectively. Notice the frame stealing comment and owning it. That is attractive.

Never take shit tests personally. Always agree with what she says and own it.

Give her unwavering eye contact and hold your frame when talking to a woman.

The more you break commonalities as this is extremely powerful to attract women effortlessly. Women love a man that can have a good sense of humor.

The last important point to this entire article is to understand flirting and being a challenge.

Just knowing how to break rapport with your voice tonality in a fun and playful way is how to be a challenge.

Inauthenticity Does Not Attract Women

Picking up women also requires that you don't hide who you are by putting on a mask.

Communicate clarity of intentions my friend. Be genuine but also show women that you have boundaries. This puts you in the masculine role.

Common nice guy mistake is you think giving her gifts or buying her drinks will attract women. But that can't be further from the truth.

When you talk to girls, they want to know that you have a life outside of talking to her.

Live life in abundance. Having a good social life doesn't always mean flirting with every girl you see.

A good social life means that you live life on your own terms and it simply means having a trustworthy social circle.

But I have to make one thing clear to you the reader…

Don't get frustrated if it takes a few years to get good with girls.

Don't get in a bad mood either. Men tend to get down on themselves when they have bad interactions and they see other guy talking to girls better than him.

Learning pick-up requires several failures before you succeed. Don't focus on being perfect as perfectionism is a cockblock.

Don't focus on getting a phone number. Be outcome independent. 

Here is a big tip if you struggle with being social around girls...

Choose a role model on TV who is good with girls and model him.

Most Guys Try To Pick Up Women at the Gym

This puts you in the wrong mindset of having ulterior motives.

I never encourage guys picking up women at the gym. Women are working out at the gym.

Don't do that, focus on working out because that's what the gym is for.

However, you'll find that after you workout, you have more confidence to take courageous action after your workout. Go meet new women after you leave the gym.

Confidence comes from learning the skill of pick-up. It comes from putting yourself out there. It comes from working that social muscle. Think of lifting weights but each rep is you opening a new girl.

Just remember that the only reason for this section is to remind you all that I trained classes. Women find it annoying when guys interrupt them.

If you are so persistent on talking to a cute girl, then just wait for her to FINISH her set. Don't creep her out in the process.

More importantly, it comes from taking consistent action because let's face it, you gotta take action for YOU, and stand comfortably on your own two feet before you start picking up women.

You may come across an episode on how I picked up a front desk planet fitness employee. That's because I'm smart, and I don't talk to people who are working out. Most women want to WORKOUT when they get in the zone.

The Honest Nonverbal Signals

This is one of the most important principles to master in social dynamics. There are so many ways to communicate confidence through communications but one nervous mannerism in your non-verbal's, women know that you aren't congruent.

Here's what happens in social settings, most guys doubt themselves and their own approach. Then they have a self fulfilling prophecy and they attract the same things in their social life.

Staying calm when approaching women makes all the difference. A woman wants to meet a man that also can shower regularly. In order to talk to girls confidently, understand that your body language girls can read before you open your mouth to say anything.

A true leader doesn't mean you TRY to lead interactions and TRY to act like an Alpha Male.

Leader's throughout history convey dominant body language. I'll briefly go over a few things to show dominance in your body language.

  • Take up space in how you walk.
  • Show certainty in your approach when interacting with women.

Over a decade ago, Albert Mehrahbian, a researcher found that 55% of communication is not at all the words you say that gets you good with women. But it's everything not being said.

What matters is eye contact. How you maintain eye contact with women. Can you look at a woman in the eyes without acting weird?

If you want to get to know women on a deeper level, using your eye contact to create that powerful bubble between you and her matters more than what you think.

What is Attraction? 

We have to discuss what attraction is because most people forget that attraction happens in stages. And based on what most people call ‘fate' is what we are all told in our teenage years. Past experiences should not apply in the present. It happens over time.

If we dive deep in to social psychology, interpersonal attraction is defined as a positive attitude and investment toward a particular person that provoke desire caused by three components of attitudes. 

The three attitudes are cognitive, behavioral, and affection*

That means attraction is triggered through a series of attitudes, often through positive feelings, behaviors, and beliefs of oneself.

That goes without saying there is more to it than just the three attitudes my friend.

The Principle of 'Fun and Challenging'

One of the most effective ways to build attraction is to focus on voice tonality while flirting.

So here's what I want you to do the next time you talk to a woman.

Be comfortable, fully present, and have a witty tonality when you tease her.

Why? Because most women pick up on your delivery then what's being said.

Practice having a witty tonality because you are going to make her laugh based on how you tease her. 

It's not about the teases and lines themselves, more importantly, you're tonality is extremely important. 

Meaning don't have an upward inflection in your voice because this puts her on a pedestal. 

It all stems down to the ten thousand foot perspective, you want to have fun and tease her, even challenge her as most men are afraid to tease and challenge women.

Good vibes is what you want to bring girls. That applies to having fun. And when you challenge women consistently.

I'm going to give you three different tonalities to practice. Just remember, don't compare yourself to me, because many of you hear my naughty podcasts.

Three Tonalities That You Must Know

First one is Seeking Rapport Tonality (it seeks friendship) you only want to use this with your friends only.

Second one is Neutral Rapport Tonality (it communicates that you're on the same level) good to use with women when you are having a fun conversation.

Third one is Breaking Rapport Tonality (this is the tonality that you want to use with women when you tease and challenge them.) 

You build attraction when you break rapport with women. Remember the routine on breaking commonalities?

This is the tonality you want to use with women, it's like you have witty line delivery but you are talking at a downward inflection.

Meaning you are going to get her attention and keep it while conversing with her.

Have A Clear Code of Life

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The most important concept in social dynamics is understanding yourself and knowing who you are because this is what's communicated in all social interactions.

You want to communicate your values, boundaries, and standards. This is your code of life.

Understanding the power of Inner Game is arguably more important than Outer Game because this is what women pick up on most of all. You want to accept yourself fully and own your flaws.

No one else is going to do this for you. How you do that is you develop higher status self-love and self-trust. 

Then once you get clear on all your values, boundaries, rules, and standards, outer game will manifest naturally and you become much more bold, assertive, and picking up women becomes easy.

Women want a man that isn't easily swayed from his beliefs.

Never Believe What Society Says About Pick-Up

A lot of people have a twisted perception on pick-up and think it's creepy.

This put's you in your head and you give off uneasiness. Learn to get out of your head.

If you feel creepy, then you transfer that emotion to everyone else, it's the law of state transference.

Pick-up is you becoming your most attractive and congruent self. Not what society distorts it out to be.

Life is about procreation. We are here to survive and replicate. Mystery often say's this if you've read The Mystery Method. 

Often, you will get a sense that some girls might assume you are just some manipulative pick-up artist.

Not to worry brother, they often are the most fiery and if you pass her tests consistently, you can and you will get even the most guarded women to enjoy your company.

That is if you don't believe the shitty limiting believe everyone else believes that this field is weird.

The Bottom Line: How to Get Good with Women

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Life is all about polarities. Look at the yin and the yang. For example, masculine and feminine polarity.

When you are talking to any girl whatsoever, they want you to win.

Screen for feminine women, they are the most receptive. However, never force an outcome.

And never act feminine around the hotter women that you meet.

Know your fucking worth before you throw all that shit aside to please anyone.

If she says no, "no" means "NO." Move on to the next one. Don't get down on yourself.

If you get a sense that she is the type of girl that you want to converse with, just talk to her.

No outcomes in mind. Have fun in social situations. Girls like fun guys that are also a bit of a challenge.

Throughout this article I've given you ways to attract the opposite sex, just remember to live your own life and put yourself first as I consistently say on my podcast.

You learned about having a code of life, and how to attract a girl with your voice, more importantly, you learned about nonverbal communication.

This is what women respond to. Women respond to sub-communications more than what you think. Even though I've given you ways to have effortless high status conversations...

Always remember that it's everything not being said. It's how you say it that positions you as a charming motherfucker.

Feel comfortable to comment below and I'll do my best to respond.

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