General Guide to What Women Find Unattractive (The Harsh Truth)
This is a general guide to what women find highly unattractive in all men and it is the brutal harsh truth!
In this article, I am going to break down what I’ve learned through personal experiences.
I am going to give you to stories back up everything with what I’ve learned throughout the years.
Let’s start out with your mindset. You must address the inner underlying mindset before we get into the classic bad habits that all men make.
You Have a Taker Mentality
You won’t attract anyone to you with a taker mindset.
I’ll give you an example of a taker mentality, let’s say you meet a woman named Jessica.
Things are going well but then you say something like, “so what are you doing tonight?”
I know this might seem like an innocent question.
Inside a woman’s mind, this comes across as you are having a taker mentality.
Why? Because when you say this at the last minute, it comes across as try-hard.
Women are designed to read everything about your body language, vocal tonality and eye contact.
That means anything you say can come across as you are trying to take something from her!
A long time ago when I first started approaching women, I learned this the hard way.
What happened was I would talk to women and ask them “so what are you up to later this week?”
Although this seems innocent (and if you have the right tonality, it can work.)
However, I said it from a place of pausing mid-sentence, it took me several failures to learn from this.
You must understand that women pick up on your energy, not so much what you say.
This is when I found out through several rejections that I had the wrong mindset in the interactions.
The right mindset is to lead with a giving hand, and expect no phone numbers.
Drop all expectations when conversing with women.
Women can tell when you’re needy for validation and it comes across as creepy to them.
You’re Giving Her Too Much Availability
- “Are you available tomorrow?”
- “Are you open next week?”
- “Do you work next Friday?”
- “Why can’t you answer me?”
This is seriously the fucking worst. If you are being too available to a woman, you will not get a second date. Stop giving suggestions.
Assume that she’s open and say, “what’s you’re week looking like?”
This is much better than making a million suggestions where it puts you in a position that you’re trying too hard to get a second date.
After she responds with her availability, you want to say this the following:
“Great, let’s meet at x,y,z place and 3PM, I’ll text you the day of the hangout where we are meeting.”
This shows that you have confidence to plan and prepare dates, and you will get a second date because it adds the element of mystery!
So I want to tell you a story to drive this point home, my current partner Emily told me a story when she went on a date with a man that gave her too much attention after the first date.
She said that he told her the following:
- “When are you open?”
- “Are you working?”
- “What time do you have available?”
- “Are you off work right now?”
Stop this bullshit, you are literally going to push her away if you constantly do this. Instead, be scarce and a mystery. You are throwing her off her inner balance point because most men aren’t scarce.(
Scarcity is very powerful with women, you come across as unpredictable. Women pursue that which is out of their grasp, so work on being more scarce!
When you make yourself scarce, women actually want more of your attention because it generates a chase. She is going to want your attention.
Often you’ll find that this strategy is much better because she can become obsessed with you if you do this correctly. Read my article on how to get women obsessed with you for more details 😉
You’re Over-Complimenting Her
- “You are sooo beautiful.”
- “How are you doing gorgeous?”
- “Girl, you look so goddamn pretty.”
These are examples of over-complimenting.
Now here’s what I hear all the time from men, they say, “why is it so bad to compliment women?”
It’s because when you compliment them from a place of having a taker mentality, she can tell that you have ulterior motives.
How can she tell? It’s because of the way you say it and the place it comes from. The goal is to make her feel comfortable, too much complimenting is try-hard.
Often VERY hot women are always given the benefit of the doubt so for you to compliment her too much, she hates it because that’s all she hears every day.
So here’s an exercise I want you to practice when you are tempted to compliment:
Look at yourself from third person perspective and say, “Am I saying this to get something from her, or do I genuinely just want to say it without expecting anything from her?”
Why should you do this? Because most men compliment too much when all they want is her number.
The best thing you can do is compliment once and leave the interaction unaffected. Now that is how to leave a true impression!
You Don’t Work Out
I know exactly what you’re thinking, I thought looks doesn’t matter. In a way, it doesn’t matter if you have a strong frame and a sense of purpose and passion to your personality.
However, this is where it only goes so far. I don’t really agree with everything that traditional PUA advice gives to men, working out is extremely powerful and can give you an edgy look.
This debate can go on and on, however, nothing changes the fact that first impressions are VERY powerful, and you can turn women on easily when you have broad shoulders and a small waist.
Another reason why you should work out is because women often test men, not just by saying bitchy comments, they will challenge your physical strength to see if you are what you say you are.
Meaning if you lie to try to impress her that you workout and she challenges you, they will find out very quickly you don’t work out.
1000 Points Will Drop in Attraction If She Notices You’re Lying and She Beats You in the Challenge
I’m telling you this to save yourself from being embarrassed. As a general principle in dating, never try to impress a women by lying to her. It looks low value.
If this opened up your eyes, then good because you don’t attract the high quality women by being lazy and lying to her to get her attention.
I recommend you check out my article here for my full week workout plan to gaining muscle.
Women want a man that is physically strong. Why? Because it shows strong survivability traits and that you’re masculine.
I want to tell you a story to back this up. My girlfriend said that one of her exes played video games every day and she went to the gym more than him
She said word for word, “He was so incompetent and lazy, there was a point where I was sooo turned off that I didn’t want anything to do with him sexually.”
So I strongly advise you start to lift weights. Or you won’t attract the quality women I know you want.
All women love a man that takes care of himself physically.
Therefore it shows that you can provide the physical strength to take care of her, therefore she feels safe.
However, when you don’t workout, it looks incompetent. How can she trust in your masculine energy when you don’t lift weights? You come across to her like you can’t lift furniture, or anything heavy.
When you don’t workout, you are implying to her that you don’t have the physical strength to do handy work and pick her up off her feet. It shows you are lazy.
If you want her to let go and be in her feminine energy, then you must demonstrate a strong sense of physical strength.
It can even be said that when women go in to their feminine energy that men naturally go in to their masculine by taking care of her physically.
This is what you want because women aren’t supposed to where the pants in the relationship in any way whatsoever!
Give her the power and she loses all respect for you as a man.
Think of it like this, when you workout and lift weights, you can pick her up and switch positions in the bedroom effortlessly!
You must be in the power position because it conveys dominance.
To sum this up, working out gives you that bad boy edge and not working out comes across as you have no testosterone to your presence.
Don’t lie to her about the fact that you can lift. Be a fucking man by choosing to lift over sitting around doing nothing at all, because let’s face facts, comfort and Netflix is decreasing your drive and testosterone.
“Choose a hard life and your life will be easy. Choose an easy life and your life will be hard.”
-T Harv Eker
You Are Bragging Too Much
This goes without saying, you never want to show off your resources such as money to a woman.
As a general principle in Dating, like I mentioned, you never want to impress a woman with assets and values.
Let’s say for example, you tell a women that you own five real estate properties and you are a CEO of a business that you own.
That’s great, however, if you say it from a place of trying to show off, she is going to get highly un-attracted to you.
Do not tell women what property you own and how much money you make. As I stated in this article, women want to know you have nothing to prove to communicate higher value.
Why? Because this tells her that you’ve fully accepted yourself and nothing, she says such as testy comments will get you off of your inner balance point.
The clear point is that if you want to communicate your values and assets, you want to show it instead of saying it. This is much more powerful than trying to impress her!
When You Manage a Harem, You Brag About Who You’re Seeing
One of the rules of managing a harem of women is to never bring up women you are sleeping with like you are proud of it and it’s like the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
I know exactly what you’re thinking, why can’t I tell women about who I’m seeing if I want her to know?
Here’s what you say, “I’m seeing other women.” That’s it. Drop it if she asks for any more information.
Let her mind do the thinking. You’ll find that she will think you are sleeping with them if you don’t say a word.
The key point, you NEVER say “We are just friends.”
This is what players do all the fucking time and women aren’t stupid, they know exactly what you’re up to because asshole’s say this line all across the world.
Do yourself a favor and keep certain details vague, because unless you are in a serious LTR that means long term relationship, there isn’t much she can do about it.
She’ll most definitely ask about it, you have to be disciplined in your ability to set strong boundaries.
The most common thing that men do is they brag about who they are sleeping with.
Although it seems higher value to you, this puts a strong red flag in her mind. It’s not higher value or funny, you are being a lower status bitch (to be perfectly honest.)
Get bragging out of your mind. Having an ego in this game while managing a harem doesn’t get you anywhere but hurt women and make them feel like they are being used.
No one likes a man that shows disrespect towards women. Be humble and have a growth mindset.
You’re Energy Comes Across Like You Are On The Hunt
When you are out with friends, this is the most common mistake that all men make, in fact, I can guarantee you that you’ve done this at least once in your life.
Especially when you rely on ‘liquid courage,’ this is when you CLEARLY come across like you are on the hunt.
I strongly recommend that you quit drinking if all it does is result in you being overtly obnoxious and women have told you several times “go away creep.”
Understand that bars is where a lot of women have their guards up because they know that there are men that can’t control their impulses when they drink.
Women feel highly uncomfortable when you’re staring at them like they are a piece of meat.
Honestly, if you fall under this category, I think it’s time you take a true look in the mirror and self-evaluate.
This is what women deal with almost every weekend, especially the high quality hot women.
It’s like your a coyote hunting down some food, this is what you look like. So stop this poor behavior.
I recommend you start working on yourself and learn to value your mental state as number one.
That leads me to my next point.
You Don’t See Yourself as Higher Value
If you are just now getting start learning about game, then here’s one of the golden rules you must understand when you start meeting women.
When you talk poor to yourself, you come across as lower value. This is victim mentality at its finest.
You cannot expect to meet the women of your dreams when you are speaking poorly to yourself. Women pick up on it and they can sense when you don’t see yourself as higher value.
The number one law of fucking states that women never sleep with men that they see as friends and beneath them.
When you don’t value your mental state and all you do is feel helpless, women don’t find you magnetic, they find you repulsive. In fact, they won’t know you’re values if you don’t communicate them.
So I want to give to you a task to complete (taken from my book on Amazon)
Write Down Ten Great Things About Yourself
Most men forget all of the great things about themselves when they see a beautiful woman because they go in to dip-shit mode and act like all of their dreams came true when they see a model-type woman.
I want you to remember everything that you wrote down, especially if you ever meet a woman that looks like this one. It’s time that you read everything great about you so your self-worth is higher value.
The next task I want you to complete is the following
Write down your standards you want in a girlfriend (and your boundaries) that you won’t let anyone interfere with. This is going to help you to stand your ground when someone attempts to break them.
Why is it important to have standards? I believe you know this deep down, I’ll briefly explain.
Women will always test you with feminine qualities. Meaning if you fail, they won’t find you attractive.
You must have boundaries and values. You also must set those boundaries or women will doubt your masculinity.
Communicating your values is your power move to remain strong in your frame, but you don’t want to sound conceited and overly obnoxious.
I’ll give you an example of a boundary I set with one of my past relationships:
“I will not put up with your victim mentality. If this continues, I’m afraid this won’t work between us. You either cut the bullshit ‘woes me’ mentality or I’m out. Don’t question me about this, you’ve done this for weeks. I don’t want to hear it. You’re not this negative around everyone else, are you?”
Do you see what’s being communicated here? If you learn to stand your ground, women often get defensive but as long as you increase your tonality and you remain unshakable in your frame, she will buy in to it.
What’s being communicated is you are basically saying, ‘you either stop victimizing yourself over BS, or I’m leaving you, don’t question me.’
You Let Women Lead You By Giving Them the Benefit of the Doubt When They’re Hot As Fuck
This is literally the worst mistake and the most common. Men every day give women too much credit and throw everything aside, even waste money hoping that a woman will give them attention.
This only makes you look like the classic beta-male that seeks consistent approval from everyone and the worst part is your externally validated.
You don’t need a woman’s approval to feel full. You must believe you are enough for a beautiful woman.
I will tell you because I am honest, years ago, I also gave women the benefit of the doubt.
Where did this land me? In the fucking friend zone and you know just as well as I do, this is the worst place to be in when it comes to the dating scene.
Women don’t want you to give them the power, as I learned through several rejections before I developed my character and growth mindset by becoming more higher status.
I turned the tables around. I started telling myself the following:
- “I Am The Prize That All Women Are Working For.”
- “I Am The Leader of All Social Interactions.”
- “I Am Assertive and Have Bold Boundaries.”
- “I Am Higher Status In My Mindset.”
- “I Possess A Strong Frame in All Interactions.”
- “I Fully Accept Myself and I Am Confident In My Own Skin.”
- “I Am Internally Validated At All Times.”
- “I Have High Sexual Entitlement.”
- “I Radiate Masculine Power.”
I want you to take responsibility, be your own fucking man and lead down your own path and direction.
Because when you let women lead you, this communicates that you are fucking pussy.
Read the affirmations and notice that you will start to see yourself as a girl-magnet.
This is called inner game, it’s where you game yourself to believing you are the fucking shit.
You want to be in the power position when you meet women. Let me tell you why.
When you are in the power position, women can sense it and it’s a massive turn-on.
However, on the flip side, when you let women lead, it stabs at your self-esteem as a man.
Women want you to lead them! They want you to know where to take them without them having to say a fucking word to you, they just want you know!
So the next time you give women the benefit of the doubt, remember, this is how women lose respect for you and they look at you as a pushover.
This is why you MUST write down your boundaries and read them over and over!
That is exactly what will get you out of the friend zone, by you tapping in to your masculine energy.
Like me throughout the years, you are realizing that the harsh truth about what women find unattractive are actually easy to solve.
However, it takes a massive shift in your mindset. You must believe you are enough for all kinds of women, especially the 9’s and 10’s!
This is why you must develop a masculine mindset where you are internally validated.
I want you to access a masculine state of mind where you are highly confident, bold, and assertive.
Women want to meet the man of their dreams and if you simply learn to turn the tables by literally giving yourself the benefit of the doubt and put yourself up on a pedestal, you will hold yourself to higher levels.
Essentially, it is in your power to take note of everything that women are not attracted to and flip the script by viewing yourself as the man all women want.
It all comes down to your mindset and demonstrating higher value internal beliefs.
By putting yourself on a pedestal, you view yourself as the prize women want.
On top of accessing your masculine state of mind, you will radiate true dominance and power.
The reality you must accept is all women crave men to be dominant.
And by learning these common big mistakes all men make across the world, you can prevent yourself from making them and Become a Higher Status Alpha Male.
I recommend you check out my book here to develop the boundaries and values of a Higher Status Alpha Male that will stop you from putting women above you.
You will also learn the following:
- How To Position Yourself as The Man Women Want.
- What An Alpha Male Really Is and How To Become One Without Changing Who You Are.
- How To Get In State And Annihilate Approach Anxiety For Good.
- The Brutal Reason Why Nice Guys Finish Last.
- How To Pace and Lead Interactions to the Close.
- Develop a Masculine State of Mind.
- And Many More!
This is my definitive guide to becoming the confident man you were born as before society, parents, and teachers messed with your head.
You absolutely deserve to have the dating life of your dreams.
This e-book is the missing link that I wish I had when I found out the hard way what women find highly unattractive.
As always, feel comfortable to leave a comment if you want me to cover anything else, and share this article!