I’ve been wanting to share this with you for quite some time and now I am diving deep in to psychological biases that triggers effortless attraction in the opposite sex.
To be clear, this article will raise a few eyebrows because some of the psychological biases come across as positive and some of them come across as negative.
However, I am going to explain thoroughly how you can use these psychological biases for good and good only. In social psychology, there are MANY psychological biases that we aren’t talking about because quite frankly there are many cognitive biases that would take too long to get in to.
That means we are solely focusing on the cognitive biases that influence how we perceive others on how we favor women and how women favor men in social dynamics. Let me rephrase that, all of these biases come from social psychology.
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The Cognitive Bias That Matters Most is The Halo Effect
@masculinemindsetcoach This is the number one reason you cannot get women in to you… #datingadviceformen #coach #masculinity
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You obviously know about the physical attractiveness stereotype. In fact, I fully own that my blog falls in to this category, however, we must know that The Halo Effect is one of the psychological biases that places importance on having good looks.
If you are a reader of my blog, you know good looks is important for high quality women. However, what you don’t know is that women size you up in a SNAP SECOND. How they know is how you carry yourself.
You see The Halo Effect is extremely powerful when applied in social dynamics. And what I want you to understand about all of these psychological biases from here on forward we have to understand something about heuristics in social psychology.
Why do we have to understand this? Well, do you remember when I said that women know within a SNAP SECOND on where you’re at on the social hierarchy? This is what you want my friend. You want to understand how women decide on if they will see you as someone she can mate with.
So for that reason, we must have the knowledge of human decision-making process. You see this is when you get compliance from women. When you have a halo placed on yourself by a woman, she see’s you as higher status. That means just you knowing about this, you can get inside the mind of a woman and understand how she makes decisions based on who she will sleep with.
What is a Heuristic?
A heuristic is a mental shortcut or a ‘rule of thumb’ that helps guides our decisions without thinking. Do you see why this is useful to know in social psychology and how powerful it can be for women to know within three seconds of your social standing?
It requires no thought, it’s not thinking. Women want to know where you fit on the social hierarchy. You see there is a cheat code called social proof bias that I am going to cover later in this article that positions you even HIGHER in her mind!
Let’s circle back to The Halo Effect. You see now that you know about how fast women decide if they want to sleep with you or not, you see when you are a good looking man, in her mind, she favors you as higher status.
This is why I will always say looks does matter to women. They don’t want to have to tell men on how to take care of themselves. They just want men to know how to take care of themselves because women place good looking men as favorable.
That is The Halo Effect in action and understanding heuristics is how they can judge where you are on the social hierarchy. Women don’t want to think, they just want to know you are masculine because they will test your masculinity.
In-Group Bias (Social Circle Game)
This is the first and in my opinion, the most easily used bias out of the five we are discussing. And yes, we are talking about what is called social circle game. You see a social circle is basically where all of your friends are in.
Everyone has a social circle. And to the real world, you have a hard time trusting others outside your friend group don’t you? See this is why we first discussed The Halo Effect because now you know about why we place value on good looking people but we tend to value people we personally know as familiar.
Social circle game is this idea that you are meeting women in your social circle. You see years ago, a female friend of mine set me up with her friend and we went on a date. This is social circle game in motion. Another story of in-group bias in this article here.
The whole goal of social circle game creates this world of an in-group bias. What is in-group bias? That is in social psychology, we tend to favor those that are familiar and similar to us as in the in-group.
As you place your friends higher up in your social hierarchy, you favor them as more valuable. In-group bias creates the world that you are in a unique ecosystem of having your friends and the events you go to with them
And building attraction with women becomes very easy. Why? Because once you’re around your friends, you demonstrate a higher level of comfort. One of my favorite ways to build attraction with women is to simply act like you’ve known them for a long time.
When you’re hanging out with friends (it’s like they are your tribe), you give off the vibe of not caring. Meaning you’re less guarded. If you’re guarded around women, you come across as disingenuous.
Liking / Loving Tendency
This bias comes down to the tendency that we all comply with those we love. And we also ignore their faults of those people we like. We often favor people that we like and/or love.
So how do you trigger likability? You see, I’m not encouraging you to make someone like you like in the book How To Win Friends and Influence People, I’m encouraging you to demonstrate liking by showing people that you can have others come to the conclusion that they are like you.
When you trigger liking in a woman, they are more compliant. That means if you can demonstrate liking, you are ahead of most guys. Why? You see most guys try to do woman favors to demonstrate liking, but you and I both know that’s not how it works.
One of the ways to show women that you are likable is you just be self-entertained and don’t care to impress her, better yet, you tease her in a fun and playful way.
A good way to show people that you are a likable dude is you reveal similarities. Let’s say you meet a woman named Amy and she is born in the same month as you. Revealing that you are born in the same month will increase liking in her mind.
Congratulations my friend, you’ve just built rapport with her. However, it’s important to remember that breaking rapport is also just as powerful as building rapport. So don’t forget that.
“Oh you like lifting weights? I love lifting weights too, hi five. You’re awesome.”
Fuck that. This is the wrong way to try to breaking rapport with women.
I’d rather you say this..
“That sucks you’re in to lifting weights..”
She says, “Why?”
You say, “Because if you and both did kettlebell swings together, you’d probably launch the weights in to the mirror from you staring at my impeccable form. And then we’d get the cops called on us. It’s a bummer we can’t workout because you’re kinda cute.”
So let’s address this, because most guys don’t know this. You never want to build too much rapport with women as this often lands you in the friend zone and it’s hard to get out.
Key point here is to show that you’re likable, but don’t be afraid to be disagreeable.
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The Halo Effect Triggers The Liking/Loving Tendency
A study of Canadian federal elections found that attractive candidates received two and a half more votes because they are more attractive.
You see The Halo Effect is that damn powerful. It works in to every psychological bias. Here’s what happened man.
They surveyed the voters and 73% of them denied in the strongest possible terms that their votes had anything to do with physical appearance.
What can we conclude? People are straight up lying to themselves. You see human behavior doesn’t lie.
Three quarters of the voters strongly denied that it is not about their looks.
I have a reality check to tell you man, and this is why I always say looks matters.
Even though in this study people lied, the actual human behavior says otherwise.
So after you finding this out, wouldn’t it be wise of you to start realizing that everyone complies to higher status people?
If you don’t realize that, I want to personally shake you because I will always stay true to what I always say on my blog, good looks is indeed a power move.
Mere Exposure Effect Triggers Liking/Loving Tendency
This is a psychological bias by which people tend to develop a preference for things merely because they have been exposed to it.
It’s literally exactly what it sounds like. People show an increased liking to when they are exposed to it more.
What can we gather from this? If you’re continuously exposed to the same women at the same venue, it raises likability.
Pick and choose a venue, go there often and talk to the same women over and over.
You will go up higher and higher in her mind (as long as you don’t do anything remotely unattractive.)
For example, having a thirsty vibe is highly unattractive.
It’s like you want something from her. Don’t have a taker mentality man. This makes you look creepy and try-hard.
Reciprocation Tendency
We often want to return the favor of people that do us favors for us. It really is that simple. You should start asking for favors.
The only way you can apply this is if you can start asking people for favors.
I do this all the time. The other day my girlfriend wanted my help with her moving.
I said to her, “Sure but can you cover lunch since I’m helping you out?”
And because I said that, this is where it works. You don’t want to do women favors too soon.
In my case, I am in a relationship, so it’s a one-for-one. I still do this even in a relationship.
However, if you are first meeting a woman, then you cannot do them favors too soon, especially if she asks you to buy her a drink.
Don’t buy women drinks right away. Especially if she see’s that you’ll do it (since you are victim to The Halo Effect) she will ask you for more favors and see you can be walked on.
My friend, if you can get women to do you favors for you first, and they are request responsive, you trigger strong attraction. But do this when you see attraction signs.
This triggers effortless attraction. However, you can mis-use this the wrong way. You can buy a woman a drink, and then she feels that pressure, which means she feels indebted to return a favor.
Here’s the thing, in Robert Cialdini’s book Influence, he states that the rule can trigger unfair exchanges and when you ask women favors, they intuitively tell that you want something in return. Cialdini calls these guys “exploiters of the reciprocity rule.”
Reciprocation is one of the strongest psychological biases that can be used for wrong intentions, but can be also used the right way to trigger attraction.
Don’t exploit the reciprocity rule man. This is what a lot of men get wrong. If you do a favor for a woman with the expectation of indebtedness, you killed her respect for you. No attraction will happen, your just being a lower status beta-male.
In fact, when it comes to doing women favors, there is this concept of hoop theory I may write an article on. Comment below if you want me to cover that or email me at AdamSkoda@MasculineMindsetCoach.com.
REMEMBER THIS RULE OF THUMB – DON’T ASK WOMEN FOR FAVORS IN EXCHANGE FOR FEELINGS.
How To Use Reciprocation with Women The Right Way
The most powerful way to cause reciprocation as you know is NOT by giving them gifts. Instead, the value you can bring women is leading them with your masculine presence.
Show them the world, show them new places they’ve never been to, and show them experiences they’ve never had. This is what women want, but they won’t say it to you.
Women will see that you know how to lead them. When you lead women to where they want to go, you are showing her that you are masculine. Women will then reciprocate and want to spend quality time with you more often.
Let me tell you something man, women want a leader. Not a follower. This is why I say this often, follow your own lead and never supplicate to anyone.
Be your own man on your own path, have missions to achieve, and have a purpose in life. Don’t float around like you’re uncertain in yourself as my good friend Mark Sing says, “floating like a fart in the breeze with no purpose.”
I want you to start being more certain in yourself or you’ll look like you’re not confident. I’d rather have you look certain in yourself than uncertain in yourself.
Social Proof Tendency
This is not just about women finding you attractive. This is also not just about people saying how awesome you are. And it’s not about having the coolest car that every guy wants to have.
What social proof REALLY is when you go down to it is all people have a natural tendency to want to do what other’s think is correct when it all boils down to it. It’s because people crave acceptance from others.
Most people are drowning in their phones and worrying about Instagram likes, which puts them in a constant approval-seeking state because of social proof. Do you see that now?
I always say this on my blog how when you seek approval it’s horrible for attraction, especially as a man. Why is that?
Because you are not internally validated, you are externally validated. You are living upon the reactions of others to get in a better state than you are right now.
That means when you get a follow from IG for example. Dopamine hit, that my friend is social proof because they want your follow. In case you didn’t know this man, most people do that because they want YOUR FOLLOW.
The reason I tell you this example is because this is literally social proof in motion. The higher amount of follows a woman has, the more you place the halo on her head like she is out of your league. Hence, this is The Halo Effect in action.
You see sometimes it’s best that I tell you how to not succumb to social proof. What’s attractive my friend is following your own lead and being your own man.
I’ll give you another example of social proof in action, do you never notice how it appears at busy nightclubs that the line goes all the way outside, then you get in and it looks not that busy? SOCIAL PROOF.
It’s a great way to get people to want to go to that particular busy nightclub, because it looks busy and in-demand. And that my friend is how nightclubs get business.
By the way, the fact that you waited so long, you value the club even more. That means your perceived value of the club goes up higher and higher the longer you wait to get in the club. You won’t even judge if it’s good or bad, you’re happy you got in.
That my friend, again, you’ve fallen prey to the social proof tendency. Mind fuck, I know. So if I were you, I wouldn’t judge a nightclub’s value based on how long the line is.
Now you’re seeing how social proof is one of the most powerful psychological biases.
How To Use Social Proof Properly With Women
Now that you know the idea behind social proof, it’s time that I tell you how to properly use it. Because most guys go overboard with this and you can turn in to a douchebag, and act like a player.
The right way to use social proof with women is you imply in your conversations with women that you are being pursued, better yet, you are not having it. They just can’t leave you alone my dude. That’s social proof well done.
So don’t say it like this, “I’ve had this woman I met suck my dick three nights ago within one hour of meeting her.” Classy move bro, that’s honestly disgusting and you don’t get any attention from women, just a comment like, “go away you weirdo.”
Here’s how you do it properly, simply tell her a story on why you don’t want a woman to pursue you. My dude, you have no fucking idea how powerful this is. You are undeniably attractive when you do this.
Do yourself a favor and read my article on preselection, you’ll see that I did pull this off on a hairstylist, and I am NOT bullshitting you, she fucking cannot stop flirting with me.
Why is that? Because my friend, social proof is one of the most powerful psychological biases in this entire article that women won’t leave you alone.
You see, just using this concept alone of social proof can make picking up women easy. Women want what women want. Never forget that. It’s a cognitive shortcut that communicates all the right things.
Reward and Punishment Tendency
Sounds fucked up, I know, so let me tell you what this actually is and what it isn’t. You see, so many men have emotional rage when they get mad at women, and this is not punishment in the way you think, because most of you will mistake this for being a controlling dick.
So when I tell you about this, I am not saying for you to turn in to what Corey Wayne calls a Jack-in-the-Box, and lose your shooter marble. This my friend is you getting highly emotional.
I have news for you brother, masculinity is calm under pressure. Masculinity is grounded, centered, and completely chill. Some of my best friends that are very masculine are not induced with rage. They control it and they discipline themselves to keep their anger in control.
Now that I got that out of the way, this tendency can literally shape human behavior if you do it the right way. You simply reward women when they act how you want.
And you punish (DON’T TAKE THAT LITERALLY) the poor behavior that you don’t want women to do. And you potential women reading this, I tell you the same thing, this is how you treat men in the way you want them to behave.
How To Use Reward and Punishment (Caveat – Don’t Overdo It)
Here’s how you reward behavior, I often tell my girlfriend, “I love it when you wear make-up, it make’s you look sexy.” You see this is what women want to hear. When they are praised by their man, they fucking love it.
That’s why this is also one of the most powerful psychological biases, it’s because it shows that you know what you like, and what you don’t like, and you communicate that by having a strong frame.
I will give you another example, years ago I had an ex-girlfriend tell me a very rude comment about my friends and family. Wanna know what I did?
I turned around and drove her home. I said, “Get out of my car RIGHT NOW.” You might say, damn, that’s harsh. How would you respond if a woman said, “your brother should go kill himself?”
That’s what I fucking thought. Don’t feel bad for standing up for who you love man. Women want to know that you will stand up to them, not be a floor mat.
You see this is often why assholes are attractive to women, it’s because they demonstrate a strong frame, and they have a masculine mindset, they naturally use these psychological biases. When it all boils down to it, women love assertive guys but watch your rage man, don’t over do it.
They just want to know that you will not take it too far. Because if you do, then she loses all attraction for you. That means to say I really have to say this one more time for this to sink in, when you stand up for yourself, do it in a way where you’re not thrown off your composure.
Review All Five Psychological Biases
Let’s go over all five psychological biases:
- In-Group Bias
- Liking/Loving Tendency
- Reciprocation Tendency
- Social Proof Tendency
- Reward and Punishment Tendency
The number one cognitive bias is The Halo Effect because now you know how it ties in to why women prefer men that are slightly above them in the social hierarchy.
That doesn’t mean you’re better than her, it has nothing to do with that. It simply ties in to the concept of demonstrating higher value and that you know you are enough on your own.
You see, this is how men separate themselves from the boys. Because most boys have a massive unhealthy ego and act arrogant. Not a healthy ego at all, they often try to impress women with shiny objects.
It’s about improving yourself a little bit everyday and women get attracted to you as a side benefit.
The reason for sharing these psychological biases is for you to get a good understanding of human psychology and human behavior. You see all of these will trigger effortless attraction.
But you have to use each of them properly and from the huge rants I said, by now you must understand how to use each psychological bias in the right way to get women turned on by your masculine presence.
Feel comfortable to comment down below any takeaways and let me know if there is any questions you may have on any other blog topics you want me to cover. And you can email me at AdamSkoda@MasculineMindsetCoach.com.
Lately I’ve been having some people on Instagram hit me up and asking if I offer any services, you can sign up for a Free Masculinity Discovery Call. I’ll see you next time you handsome legend 😉
