Why Women Think You’re Creepy And How To Stop Being Weird
There are a myriad of reason’s that women think you’re creepy, however, let me first start out by saying that who you are hearing from is Adam Skoda, Host of the Masculine Mindset Show on Spotify.
Which means that if you don’t know the shocking truth as to why looks does matter in dating, I encourage you to read that article before you read forward.
With all of that said, you should know by now how much I despise old PUA advice that says, “You don’t need to look good, and you don’t need to make a lot of money!”
However, in today’s particular article, I’m going to address the opposite end of the spectrum as to why women think you’re creepy when it has nothing to do with your appearance and/or resources.
Why Women Feel Uncomfortable and Think You’re Creepy
Creepiness to a woman is a feeling and they have a hard time explaining why someone creeps them out. A random person can get her feeling uncomfortable, especially on a first date when they meet a man from online dating.
They also cannot really explain why someone gives them the creeps. Often, it’s not so much how you look that gave them the creeps, but it’s you are being needy. When a woman says ‘no,’ it should be taken seriously.
Societal perceptions of women often involve contrasting views on aging, where young girls are seen as desirable while older women face devaluation. So nowadays, women look out for one another.
Pushing for further engagement can lead to perceptions of being a creepy guy, even if you consider yourself a good guy, as it shows a lack of respect for her boundaries.
Inner Congruence Matters in Dating
Your words and your actions must be congruent. Don’t ever be incongruent, women have a sixth sense that they can detect bullshit faster than your best friends.
Start owning who you are, instead of TRYING to be impressive and agreeing too much. More on this later in this article.
Women think you’re creepy for one big reason (and I’ll give you examples of neediness in a little bit). Understand that they will give obvious signs that they want you to stop.
You are looking for emotional validation from her. Certain behaviors or remarks can make women feel uncomfortable, especially when societal pressures and expectations are involved.
Understand that in order to get anyone attracted to you, inner congruence matters in dating.
With all of that out of the way, I’m going to share with you the quintessential reason you come across as what women will often say “eww, gross.”
What Makes You Creepy to A Woman
over-investing often makes women think you’re creepy
As I already said, creepiness is a feeling, and this translates into neediness. When you are needy, you are unattractive and most women will ignore you.
So what is neediness? To a woman, neediness is a feeling that most people get. It’s not a thought or an action. It’s more like an intuition for her.
They’re guys who aren’t interested in her as a person; they’re shotgunning their interest and hoping something hits somewhere and she happened to be convenient.
A good rule to always follow when having conversation is to make yourself comfortable. Write that down.
How Do You Define being a ‘Creep?’
Creepy lacks a clear definition in the context of dating. This lack of clarity causes normal guys to feel anxious. I intend to address this topic and define it for you.
Girls feel creeped out when you are over-investing. A clear definition of a ‘creep’ from a woman’s perspective is you try too hard to get the outcome you want.
It’s when you desperately want someone’s approval and you are trying too damn hard. Women can intuitively tell when you’re being try-hard. This puts a big red flag in her mind.
Body language can also influence perceptions of creepiness. Scary body language can trigger feelings of fear and discomfort, especially for women who are more attuned to non-verbal cues.
This is when looks doesn’t matter in dating. Put a good looking guy in a scenario where he is over-investing, this puts a strong red flag in her mind.
Attraction lesson to you. Stop over-investing in your interactions with women. This comes off as neediness. Not everyone perceives creepiness in the same way, as it is based on subjective interpretations and emotional responses.
Where Your Neediness Came From
Women think you’re creepy when you do shit like this
Neediness often stems from past programming, it’s likely that mommy didn’t give you much attention, so you essentially seek that in other women to give you approval.
This is the classic example, it doesn’t always have to be a ‘bad childhood’ per se, however, just the lack of love as a child can make a STRONG impact in your social life.
Because you didn’t have enough love as a child, you will start trying to resolve those issues with women later in your life from past programming, it’s likely that you will come across as creepy to women. Societal fears about being perceived as a ‘dangerous guy’ can also contribute to this neediness.
It can also stem from an abusive childhood as well. Why? Because you want the love that you were never given as a child, you seek that in your relationships with women.
This is what makes you creepy to women. Being creepy translates into neediness. Many women have been socialized to trust their intuition as a protective mechanism, helping them navigate potentially dangerous situations.
Girls can and will give men a restraining order if they consistently feel unsafe. It’s time you follow everything listed out in this article.
If You Think Pick-Up is Creepy, States are Contagious
This is something that more guys must pay attention to. Because I’ve met guys that still have this limiting belief.
If you think pick-up is creepy, states are contagious which girls can FEEL. Misinterpreting social interactions the wrong way can lead to unintended consequences, making you seem intrusive or creepy.
Brother’s, this was the limiting belief I used to have, and I had to address it. After I addressed it, I finally moved passed that mental roadblock.
I’m telling you guys through several rejections and experiences, you must address that bitch belief because it will stop you from succeeding.
What is Neediness?
This is how neediness makes girls feel
In a nutshell, neediness is when you constantly seek acceptance and approval, and you’re not internally validated, you are externally validated. You rely on the reactions of others to feel full.
Many men consider themselves ‘good guys’ who do not pose a threat, but may still come across as needy.
You have an unhealthy desire for other people to validate you and accept you, this often puts you in a bad mindset. Why? Because you’re constantly seeking and taking someone’s approval.
This is why women hate neediness in men. They want to know that you feel like you are enough without them having to give you validation.
Give All Girl’s Good Energy
Start paying attention to how you make girls feel instead of what you want from her. Better yet, have good vibes.
I know I have an article on embracing your dark side. However, women need to know you have emotional control.
Meaning, I don’t want you misusing that masculine drive I know you have. You need to understand that a girl can and will not know who you are. Show her that you are harmless.
It is important to be self-aware in your actions to avoid perceptions related to sexual violence and ensure the safety and comfort of others.
So here is a subtle mindset shift I want to give you when you approach women…
“I FOLLOW MY OWN LEAD”
Self-leadership is one of the most important aspects in amplifying masculine energy. Don’t misinterpret this message and make it a big deal, simply put, stay in your own lane and don’t follow girls like a weirdo.
Don’t be ashamed of your masculinity. It’s all good to be a bad motherfucker and have a dark side, my point is I want you to realize how you make girls feel.
Basically the tangent I’m saying is be your own man, put your life first, don’t let one girl be your sole purpose because that is needy!!
How To Stop Being Weird and Needy
As I said before (you are looking for emotional validation) this is how you are manifesting neediness…
- You have ulterior motives.
- Not properly stating intentions.
- You’re too agreeable.
- You’re changing who you are
Meeting potential partners through mutual friends can alleviate some of the pressures and anxieties associated with cold approaches, as it builds a foundation of trust and familiarity that can lead to more comfortable dating experiences.
Let’s get in to the first example:
Example 1. You Have Ulterior Motives
Let’s say you go to a bar and you meet a woman named Amy, you leave the interaction and then you have lingering eye contact.
You never want to hover around like you’re an orbiter, and she senses you want something from her.
Do you see why this communicates neediness? Let’s say someone tries to sell you something that you don’t want, this is literally the same thing, but a different story because it’s male to female interaction.
Ulterior motives do not create attraction, it is highly unattractive. Something else you must understand in social situations is you need to stop thinking about sex. What’s the answer?
Start being more confident in your approach, and not hovering around.
You can show interest, but simply put, don’t have ulterior motives behind showing interest.
Example 2. Not Properly Stating Intentions
You should know that communicating clarity of intent is extremely important. When you talk to anyone, you’ve got to keep in mind using statements of intent.
In fact, it’s going to prevent you being labelled as creepy when you are clear in your intentions.
It’s better that you are forward with women instead of second guessing yourself. Learn to trust yourself and your own judgement. Remember what I said…
“I FOLLOW MY OWN LEAD”
Healthy self-trust is highly attractive to a woman. It communicates you trust your own judgement. That’s not creepy, in fact that is highly attractive when you follow your own instincts.
When complimenting girls, the dynamics are different. Women often feel comfortable sharing compliments with each other, such as calling their female friends pretty or cute. This differs from interactions with potential romantic interests, where societal pressures can complicate how men navigate compliments and interactions.
Example 3. You’re Too Agreeable
This is hands-down one of the most common and it’s often why you’re about to be friend zoned.
I personally know several women that have friend zoned guys. In fact, when I had the conversation with them on what makes them see a man as friends…
They all told me the same answer, “I don’t see them in that way because all they do is make themselves available.”
I asked further, “Why do they seem so available?”
They said, “He is there for me when I’m down and he agrees with me on everything and it weirds me out.”
And there it is. Therefore, nice guys have ulterior motives, in result, they look needy.
It’s because they agree with women and in exchange, they think they will get in with her.
But it doesn’t work like that, relationships are not built through a transactional vibe.
Years ago, I was friend zoned my friend, it was at 16 years old. However, it wasn’t from giving her the creeps, I simply gave her the badge of honor. I have no desire to repeat this story, read this article for details.
In fact, I knew her since first grade. I always kinda liked her. But she didn’t see it that way. The caveat is I knew her for a long time, this is why it wasn’t creepy.
Understand that it’s when you agree TOO MUCH where it becomes weird to women.
If you want a good relationship with women, stop accommodating her and start learning how to tease women effectively.
Similarly, the dynamics of communication between men and their male friends can also be complicated. Men often feel discomfort when complimenting their male friends due to societal pressures that can sexualize such interactions, leading to misinterpretation or unwanted implications about sexuality.
Example 4. You’re Changing Your Beliefs to Match Her’s
Societal perceptions of women often involve contrasting views on aging, where young girls are seen as desirable while older women face devaluation.
Let’s say you meet an older woman who says to you, “Masculinity is toxic.”
And then you disagree with her deep down. But you say out loud.
“Yeah you are right, guys are toxic pieces of shit.”
ONE HUNDRED POINTS OF ATTRACTION GONE.
Stay true to who you are and stop this people pleasing bullshit.
At least if you disagree with her, she will RESPECT you but probably won’t like you. Just don’t make inappropriate comments to her.
Women don’t emotionally understand what attracts them brothers.
It might not be enough to make her stop talking to you completely, but she’ll eventually see that you’re willing to lie about your own thoughts and opinions, which makes women think you’re creepy.
How To Demonstrate You’re Not Creepy
Women think you’re creepy when you are needy. Being carefree is attractive.
On a typical Saturday night, you might find yourself in various social settings. Navigating these without appearing needy involves being confident and comfortable in your own skin.
So what can you take away from everything discussed this far?
You have to be non-needy with women my handsome friend.
Think in terms of what women feel when they encounter an attractive man.
He is non-needy, shows outcome independence, and is carefree.
Just as neediness shows that you have ulterior motives, not properly stating intentions, being too agreeable, and changing who you are, non-neediness is also a feeling.
It is the feeling that you don’t have to change who you are, and you’re also extremely confident and bold.
You can cultivate non-neediness through the following ways…
- Show no ulterior motives
- Communicate clarity of intent
- Be disagreeable
- Saying what you truly think and feel
Action Step: Show No Ulterior Motives
This is very easy my friend, all you do is simply show that you are genuine.
You are not a bullshitter that puts on a nice face to be liked.
Simply put, show that you know who you are without having a taker mentality.
In essence, you speak your truth and you demonstrate you are non-needy.
Because you’re willing to be upfront, honest, and authentic. Genuine interactions help prevent being perceived as a ‘creepy guy,’ as respecting boundaries and understanding when to back off is crucial.
Action Step: Communicate Clarity of Intent
When you encounter someone you find attractive, just say this…
“Hey you’re cute, I wanted to come meet you and see what you’re all about.”
This is communicating clarity of intentions and a very powerful opener when you use it with the right delivery.
Women want a man that can be bold and confident in his approach.
You have healthy self-trust when you make your intentions clear right away, because it cuts right to the chase.
However, it’s crucial to ensure that your approach does not make others feel uncomfortable. Being self-aware and respectful in your actions helps others feel safe and respected.
Action Step: You’re Disagreeable
If you are afraid to speak your mind, and you’re afraid to disagree, I suggest start saying “no.” Why?
Because you are getting uncomfortable. Let me tell you the facts…
There is no growth in your comfort zone. There is only complacency.
So start getting uncomfortable and say “No” to women, but say it without reactivity.
Be polarizing, and be unafraid of conflict, this is what women are drawn to.
Action Step: Say What You Truly Want and Think
Don’t change yourself. I mean that. Don’t change your values, don’t change your schedule, and don’t waste your time with energy vampires even if they are beautiful women.
It’s when you change your opinions, values, boundaries, and don’t make time for yourself that women start doubting your masculinity and they will start testing you.
This is often why men get too comfortable in marriages and they let themselves go. My friend, you must understand that you must live your life independently.
More importantly, say what you truly think, want, and feel. Don’t hold back. Be freely expressive in who you are.
Many women have been conditioned to trust their intuition and emotional understanding due to societal teachings, which often act as a protective mechanism in various contexts.
Have Female Friends
The power of social proof tendency in psychology cannot be under-estimated. Here’s what is creepy is you not having a woman by your side when you’re out in a social setting.
Different girls will look at you, and they will be interested. Especially if the friends you bring are hot women. Many men will envy you.
However, it’s par for the course. Not everyone is going to like you when you bring a hot woman out in public but it’s going to skyrocket attractiveness to most, if not, all women.
In case you guys didn’t know, women compare themselves to other women. And you being seen having a conversation with hot friends, it communicates safety.
The Takeaway
It took me years of learning lessons and a lot of interactions with women for me to tell you that these are all the reason’s women think you’re creepy.
From being friend zoned to now being an author of a book on Amazon Kindle called Become The Alpha Women Want, I can honestly say that you will go through plenty of women that just don’t see your value.
But if you change who you are, or you don’t say what’s on your mind and you accommodate people’s shortcomings, this is where you will fail and women lose attraction.
Remember what I say on my podcasts. Don’t live up to anyone’s expectations. You don’t need to jump through hoops to prove anything to anyone.
You are now realizing that attracting women is not hard. In fact, it’s simple. Just be authentically genuine, more importantly, communicate clarity of intentions. And have hot friends with you.
I recommend you watch this short video to make women crave you sexually and want consistent attention from you because of how damn handsome you look and because you read this all the way through.
Read my articles here and start applying them in the real world. All the posts on my site are dedicated to making you a more attractive man and increasing your chances of connecting with great women.
Feel comfortable to comment any takeaways from this article in the comments section.
