Cooler. Closer. Cleaner. Which One Are You?

 Relentless by Tim Grover Review by Adam Skoda

Before I start on how I heard about this book, I must tell you all how I came across this book...

I read Rules of The Relentless by Joseph Patrick Liverman on Masculine Development Blog. 

And he really inspired me to read this book. Rest in peace brother. I still get the chills writing his name. 

This book is hands down my all-time favorite book for so many reasons. I read just a little bit every day.

So if this inspires you to take courageous action towards your masculine purpose, then great, that's what I want for you.

I will be going over each type of athlete that Tim Grover trained. So, lets get started...

Most Men Think They're Killer's, But They Break

They fold under pressure, chase comfort, and call it discipline. This is not how to be high value. 

But in Relentless, Tim Grover—legendary trainer to Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and Dwyane Wade—shatters that illusion and lays out a brutal truth:

You’re either a Cooler, a Closer, or a Cleaner. And only one of those wins without apology.

If you want to develop that killer instinct... Understand that most men are fucking cowards

A story behind this section... I walked in to a store to get a gift for my mom for Mother's Day

And I see this man walking in front of me, completely out-of-shape and he said to his wife...

"I don't want to carry that, it's too heavy."

It's like, 'Are you fucking kidding me?' Part of me wanted to tell him, "That mindset you're in? I call that 'learned helplessness.' Quit acting like a damn baby about carrying it and just DO IT."

However, I kept my thoughts to myself because I know that he is going to learn the hard way, life only happens to you if have negative self-talk and body image issues.

This man was the quintessential example of a cooler. He kinda somewhat takes action but makes it too hard to actually do anything.

 The Cooler's Mindset: Competent. Controlled. Comfortable.

The guy who follows instructions. He shows up, plays his role, and delivers… as long as things go according to plan.

Coolers are reliable but never dangerous. They don’t lead—they wait to be told what to do. They avoid pressure, play it safe, and crack when chaos hits.

Coolers are liked—but never feared. Coolers often play the game but they half ass their effort.

The biggest example is they aren't fully immersed in their game.

Coolers are the guys who do what they’re told—well. They know the plays. They respect the rules.
And when the environment is safe, they execute with precision.

They’re consistent… but never commanding.
Helpful… but never hungry.

Coolers need structure. They want approval. Nice guy tendencies can apply in athletics.
They don’t want to offend, outshine, or fail—so they never risk domination.

“Coolers can make a big play... but they’ll never own the game.” – Relentless by Tim Grover

Why Most Men Stay Stuck as Coolers

Because it’s socially acceptable.

Coolers get praised for being reliable. They’re team players. They get invited to the meeting—but never lead it.

They make just enough progress to feel safe, but never enough to feel free.

And the scariest part?

Most Coolers think they’re Closers. And they fantasize about being Cleaners…But they’ve never gone all in—because going all in means losing the comfort they’ve built their identity around.

Often coolers just want to fit in with the high status crowd, or they wouldn't seek anyone's approval.

Cooler Psychology (from a Masculine Mindset POV)

• Avoids confrontation

• Overthinks instead of acts

• Waits for validation before moving

• Fears being too intense, too focused, too much

Coolers live at 70%. Strong enough to be noticed. Never powerful enough to be remembered.

They do not give their best effort. Like I previously stated, they half ass everything. 

From my perspective, this is the majority of the population of men. Coolers do not stay the course. 

I had a friend years ago who was SO CLOSE to completing my fitness program, but then he stopped.

I hate to call this guy out on my blog, but this is the biggest example of a cooler. You should finish what you start.

The Closer: Clutch. Calculated. Conditional.

Closers are the ones who rise under pressure—when the moment calls for it.

They’re skilled, respected, and often praised for their ability to perform.You want them on your team in the fourth quarter. They don’t flinch. They hit targets. They thrive when the spotlight’s on them.

And here's the dark truth:

Closers still need the conditions to be perfect. They’re slaves to circumstances.

If the pressure’s too high? They get rattled. If the plan breaks? They hesitate. If the lights aren’t on? They don’t show up with the same intensity.

Closers play to win…But only when they feel prepared to win.

They give about 90% of their best effort. A major improvement from cooler's. They have heart in their sport.

When it comes to the scoreboard, they feel defeated when they lose. In that sense, they are externally motivated.

The Invisible Limiter: Validation Addiction

Related Podcast: Are You a Validation NARCISSIST?

Closers crave the win more than the war. They are highly motivated by winning the game. 

They don't understand the cleaner quality "You don't recognize failure... There is more than one way to get what you want."

They train for the moment, not for the mission. They still need:

• Recognition
• Applause
• The scoreboard

And that makes them vulnerable.

They’re still playing for something. The Cleaner plays from something rather than nothing. 

They have a healthy ego. Sometimes their ego can get in the way of winning the game.

Closer Psychology - Masculine Frame Breakdown:

• Highly disciplined—but still approval-seeking
• In control—but not ruthless
• Wants success—but isn’t consumed by legacy
• Will execute—but won’t destroy what’s in the way

Closers are impressive. But they’re not dangerous. They don’t change the game—they just play it well.

And if that hits a nerve…Good.

Because the next level isn’t about improvement. It’s about identity death. That means ego death. 

You can't let you're ego interfere with the results of the game. That means closers do have a fixed mindset. 

If that was a hard pill to swallow... Good. That means you're about to grow leaps and bounds.

The Cleaner: Obsession. Ownership. Omnipresence.

A Cleaner doesn’t rise under pressure. He creates it.

He doesn’t wait for permission. He doesn’t rely on hype. He doesn’t get ready.

In fact, Cleaners are fucking intense. They don't shy away from showing their intensity.

He is ready—because that’s all he knows how to be.

Here's one huge quality of a cleaner, "You don't have to love the work... but you're addicted to results"

That rule of a cleaner literally brought the CHILLS to my body writing that cleaner quality. 

Here is something I want some of you psychologists or psychiatrists who have met me if you came across this blog

Often, these people notice I won't shut up about The Dark Triad when they try to tell me... "How is it healthy to own your darkness? It's easy to lose yourself in the process."

My response to that... "Cleaner's are fucking passionate and that is Machiavellianism. Read the book Relentless by Tim Grover, it's okay to be a little obsessive. I rest my case. You have your beliefs and I have mine."

What Makes a Cleaner Different?

• Coolers perform when they’re told.

• Closers perform when they’re confident.

• Cleaners perform because they’ve already decided the outcome.

“Cleaners don’t compete. They dominate—and then disappear.”— Tim Grover, Relentless

Cleaners aren’t emotional. They’re not caught up in how they feel. They’re locked into what needs to be done.

And they do it again. And again. And again—until they break the system or bend it around themselves.

Best of all? Cleaners have a growth mindset. They don't feel defeated from numbers on the scoreboard.

Feelings are temporary... Cleaners understand that.

Cleaner Psychology (Masculine Mindset Decoded):

• Obsessed with the standard, not the spotlight

• Takes responsibility for everything—even what isn’t his fault

• Never needs motivation—he moves from internal war

• Doesn’t flinch from isolation, rejection, or intensity

• He doesn’t just accept pressure. He becomes pressure.

A Cleaner doesn’t talk about legacy. He builds it with every breath.

He doesn’t want to be known.He wants to be felt—even in silence.

Cleaner Energy in Real Life

A quick story on being featured on International Business Times... 

I remember feeling Joe Liverman's spirit November of 2024, he told me, "Follow your instinct to be featured."

And I wrote it down on my vision board... I made this a reality with the help of a well-known blogger. 

I don't care if you don't believe in spirits. Joe was spiritual and he left us too soon, younger than me. 

I believe he helped me in getting me featured from the spiritual realm.

Believe what you want. I don't give a fuck if you don't believe in spirits. Back on topic, cleaner energy in real life.

This is the man who:

• Doesn’t ghost his goals when life hits back
• Keeps his word without needing hype or external reward
• Doesn’t collapse when people misunderstand him
• Leads even when no one is watching
• Owns his flaws—and turns them into force

A Cleaner doesn’t care if you approve. He’s too busy preparing to take your spot.

Often, cleaners are indifferent on what you think of them. They are highly dissatisfied even if they win. 

That is a cleaner quality to be happily dissatisfied. Don't let success go to your head and get comfortable.

Becoming a Cleaner Requires a Secret Life

You don’t become a Cleaner in public. You become one in silence—in the unseen hours.

You practice your craft when no one is watching. You work on secret projects. Then you surprise everyone. 

Here's another quality of a cleaner... "You'd rather be feared, than liked." 

The Cleaner doesn’t flaunt his evolution. He doesn’t talk about the grind, the hunger, or the self-imposed war.

He builds power in private… so when the world sees him, it feels him.

That’s why having a Secret Life isn’t deception. It’s discipline. It's strategic obsession followed by self-control.

You work on your passion projects when no one is watching. I guarantee you right now, no one saw it coming how I started releasing Guided Visualizations reframed as Rituals on my podcast.

Here’s The Truth Most Men Can’t Face:

• You can’t evolve if you’re still explaining yourself.
• You can’t lead if you’re still needing applause.
• You can’t embody dominance if every move is out in the open.
• You need people to approve you did good

The Secret Life is where the Cleaner trains, reflects, sharpens, and plans his next strike—without noise, without witnesses, without validation.

That means cleaners do work on their inner game. They work on EVERYTHING. They give 110% of their best effort.

So What Does That Look Like?

• Waking up earlier than anyone knows to visualize the man you’re becoming
• Training when no one’s watching—and choosing pain over pity
• Building a second identity behind the one people think they know
• Operating with intensity in quiet rooms, so you walk into loud ones with presence that rattles people

This isn’t just about having a second life. It’s about having a higher life—hidden in plain sight.

All of you must understand that cleaners are fucking dark. They have a killer instinct and they don't need to fake it by being fake hard. That means don't TRY to have a dark side... it needs to be believable. 

Why Relentless by Tim Grover is My Favorite Book

Because it doesn’t sugarcoat greatness.

Most books try to motivate you. Relentless strips you down. This book makes you question your own work ethic. 

It forces you to confront the version of yourself you pretend not to see—the version that still hesitates, still explains, still waits to be noticed.

Grover doesn’t preach hustle.
He exposes your excuses.
He doesn’t celebrate balance.
He glorifies obsession, ownership, and the willingness to be hated if it means being dominant.

That hit me deeply. This is why it's my favorite book of all-time.

Because I realized…
I didn’t want to be liked.
I wanted to be felt.
And to do that, I had to stop being the Cooler who needed validation…
and become the Cleaner who doesn’t flinch while under pressure. 

This book gave me language for the war I was already in—
and permission to stop hiding the darker, more disciplined version of myself the world had told me to tone down.

If you’ve ever felt like you were born to lead…
but were too conditioned to obey—
Relentless won’t inspire you.

It will trigger you. Buy Relentless by Tim Grover if you really want this man to show you how real athletes train. This book will not only make you realize most people are lazy, but it will push you to look within on how you train.

Feel free to leave a comment down below. I'm sure this article is a massive gut check to everyone who thinks they take action, but then Tim Grover comes in and shows you why you aren't pushing yourself hard enough.