In this article, brace yourself for a darker look in to your mind. We are going to take a look at your emotional side, and I'm going to give you tactical ways to become emotionally unavailable.
First and foremost, let's talk about why you my friend, you must master your emotions. You must not let your emotions get the best of you. This is the number one tip to become emotionally unavailable.
This is the BIGGEST CAVEAT to this entire article...
Your dark side is an essential part of you. Don’t fight it. Accept it.
Accept that you have a dark side. Stop acting like you don’t have it.
Here’s the down side to having a dark side…
It’s a waste of energy to attempt to control things that you cannot control.
What does that mean?
Your dark side often jumps to conclusions. The ends justify the means.
I really must give credit to Zack Zeller for reminding me that becoming emotionally unavailable is a mechanism for your ego to defend itself by lowering your affective range.
So basically, what Zack reminded me is that you are not in control.
The caveat is to let you all know that you should never try to control your emotions. Instead, you take the right steps to master your emotions. Dealing with an emotionally unavailable partner can be challenging, as their emotional unavailability can hinder intimacy and commitment in relationships.
I want to make myself clear that it doesn’t mean you fear emotions. It means you master them. Turn them on, or turn them off. You’ll know what I mean later in the article.
This is not an easy read, so let me make that clear. It’s very dark.
That’s why you’ll find that I tell you throughout this article…
Stop fighting your emotions. Don’t fight them at all. You are human.
However, as a thought experiment, I have you turn it off. But don’t become violent. That’s not cool.
Definition and Signs
Emotional unavailability, my friend, is when someone just can’t form or maintain a healthy emotional connection with others. It’s like there’s a wall between them and their emotions.
This can show up in many ways, such as struggling to express feelings, avoiding intimacy. Here are some signs to watch out for:
- Difficulty opening up about their feelings or thoughts
- Avoiding physical touch or intimate conversations
- Being inconsistent in their emotional responses or reactions
- Struggling to empathize with others or understand their emotional needs
- Having a tendency to prioritize their own needs over others
Recognize these signs, and you’ll start to see the patterns of emotional unavailability in yourself or others. It’s all about understanding that emotional connection and emotional needs are often neglected.
I want to educate all of my readers to recognize the signs of emotionally unavailable people first before I actually take you through a meditation that can get you to become emotionally detached.
In relationship dynamics, girls can spot an emotionally available man but also an emotionally unavailable man. However, you should seek therapy if you are having a hard time forming close relationships.
Attachment Issues and Past Experiences
Emotional unavailability doesn’t just happen out of nowhere. It often stems from deep-rooted issues like attachment problems and past experiences. If you had emotionally unavailable parents or went through childhood trauma, neglect, or abuse, these experiences can mess with your ability to form healthy emotional connections. Mental health issues like depression or anxiety can also play a big role in this.
Think about it: if you grew up with an emotionally unavailable parent, you might have learned to shut down your own emotions as a defense mechanism. Or maybe past relationships left you scarred, making it hard to trust and open up again. These attachment issues and mental health struggles can create a barrier to emotional availability. Healthy relationships are built on understanding and managing these emotions effectively.
Ok, now that I've given you some ways to spot someone who is not emotionally available, it's time that I go in to detail on what in my opinion is the
DARKEST ARTICLE I'VE WRITTEN TO DATE. WATCH HOW FAR YOU GO WITH THIS ADVICE.
The reason? Well brother's, here's the point... I did some self reflection on how I went through a breakup and this is how I coped to get over it. I had to accept that emotions are what make you human. I realized I had a lot of LOVE for someone that went UNEXPRESSED. What happened?
I didn't want to open up my heart too much. I didn't let her have access to it. Sharing emotions with her on an emotional level just seemed weird to me. And then I meditated.
I realized I did her a favor letting her go if I CANNOT express myself in a meaningful way. This is an extremely vulnerable article, let's just say traumatic events from my past caused me to put up my walls. Do this with caution...
First Step - Master Your Emotions
Do yourself the favor of watching those emotions. Watch them carefully. They are not you. They are temporary. Emotions are temporary. They come and they go.
Let’s say you go through a breakup, and it hits you like a motherfucker. It’s time you watch that part of you carefully.
Watch it EXTREMELY carefully. You feel those emotions coming, and now you let it surface. You face those emotions. They pour out.
You start crying, you start having tears come down your face. These tears are real. Because you loved this person.
But now when it ends, you realize that it was just a temporary emotion. Sadness is temporary. This too shall pass. Watch those emotions when they want to surface. Always watch that carefully.
This is the first step to becoming emotionally unavailable. Always watch that part of you at all times. No excuses.
When you feel those emotions, monitor them.
Second Step
Your ego is now fighting against those emotions. You know that you should FEEL those emotions. But because you have a healthy ego, you know better than to fight your dark side.
Your ego is your dark side. So you don’t fight your ego. Instead, you become emotionally unavailable for even yourself.
This is not about fighting emotions my friend. Not at all. Always feel those emotions come up. Mastering emotions is awesome. That doesn’t mean you fight them. It means you dictate them.
How you become emotionally unavailable for yourself is you develop what I call apathy for your emotional side.
You stop caring. You don’t give a single fuck about anything. An emotionally unavailable person often struggles to relate to and understand their own emotions. You get rid of all empathy. You have no empathy. All you have is apathy.
This is when narcissism comes in to play. It’s okay to be slightly narcissistic as everyone looks out for themselves.
Third Step - Turn Off Your Emotions
Alright, I’m about to give you an unorthodox way to move on from a breakup that you went through. So watch this video. Look at my eyes very carefully.
You’ll see pure black. What is that? This is my dark side coming through. That means, I have zero emotions when I recorded this.
This will be harder than what you think. Because becoming emotionally unavailable for the person you saw will be hard. Understanding how emotional unavailability can affect relationships is crucial here.
So I’m going to tell you right now. Do this responsibly. Close your eyes, watch that emotional side.
The minute your emotions come up…
Related Article: How to Overcome Rejection: Indifference, Sociopathy, Apathy
Turn off your emotions. Now, call me crazy, but this right here is basically you becoming a sociopath.
I’m not making any illusions to my readers. When you cut off all emotions. You become a fucking sociopath. Yes, I fucking mean that.
Don’t do anything stupid, like cause harm to anyone. Fuck no.
Just learn to do this thought experiment that gets you to become more apathetic than ever. This is your killer instinct my friend.
Right here, this is where I'll say I may lose some of you, but you must understand that having POWER over your emotions requires ZERO EMOTIONS.
Fourth Step
Transmutation Through Attention
Close your eyes when you feel those emotions surface up. Now here’s what you do for this meditation my friend:
- You’ll feel those emotions come up to the surface
- Pay close attention to those emotions
- Monitor those emotions
- Allow them to come through during the meditation
- Don’t fight your emotions during this meditation
Listen to meditation music. Listen to it for a long time. And when you are done with this daily meditation…
Sit for five extra minutes after you pay attention to those emotions.
Transmutation through attention comes in to play after you allow your emotions to come through.
Now turn that music on again. Listen to Brain.FM:
- Monitor your emotional side
- Pay close attention to it
- Disassociate yourself from those emotions.
Fifth Step - Become Apathetic
Now, here’s what I mean by apathy. I mean you stop caring about your own emotions. You don’t care about that part of you.
You are indifferent. You are more stoic. You don’t give two shits. You are internally validated.
More importantly, you pat yourself on the back for moving on from an intense separation. Or you had a falling out with a friend.
It doesn’t matter. Going through challenges are inevitable. You stop caring about your own emotions. You become apathetic towards your own emotions.
Watch this very carefully. I don’t mean you stop caring about life. That’s way too fucking far. I mean you stop caring about your emotional side.
This is how to cultivate healthy narcissism and it’s a powerful method to help you get to know that side of yourself that is feminine.
Especially when you go through a rough challenge in any of your relationships. Do this with caution. Do it responsibly.
Back in tribal times, just imagine this, tribes had to guard themselves against unfamiliar tribes. And they would always protect their people. Self-preservation kept them ALIVE.
But nowadays, people are much more OPEN with their emotional side. In fact, in my opinion, men are forgetting that APATHY is a dark side to masculinity.
Effects on Relationships and Personal Growth
Emotional unavailability can wreak havoc on your relationships and personal growth. In romantic relationships, it can lead to a lot of frustration, hurt, and confusion. It’s tough to build trust, intimacy, and a sense of security when one or both partners are emotionally unavailable. Here’s what it can look like:
Difficulty building trust and intimacy
Feelings of frustration, hurt, and confusion
Inconsistent or unreliable emotional responses
Struggles with communication and conflict resolution
But it doesn’t stop there. Emotional unavailability can also stunt your personal growth. It can make it hard to develop self-awareness, regulate your emotions, and build healthy emotional habits. Here’s how it can affect you personally:
Difficulty developing self-awareness and emotional regulation
Struggles with emotional expression and communication
Inability to form and maintain healthy emotional connections
Increased risk of mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety
Recognizing these impacts is crucial. Addressing the underlying causes of emotional unavailability can help you foster healthier relationships and promote personal growth.
Since I've optimized this article, and I have dealt with some past trauma with shadow work...
I've been coming to terms with the fact that you should never be emotionally distant. I'll admit to all of you I'm not perfect, yet, some of my fans on my podcast to put me on a weird pedestal.
Just understand that if you choose to show emotional vulnerability, you need to cultivate vulnerability properly and spend time speaking with friends about it over your romantic relationships. Make sure you SLOWLY open yourself up to your partner, do not do self-preservation like I did.
A very intense deep dive in to emotional control. This is the dark side of emotional control.
You can control those emotions my friend. But you must do it responsibly without losing your mind.
I'm speaking from experience. I did this all year since July of 2023. I cut off my emotional side.
I went dark. I did everything in this article. More importantly, a few times, I thought I almost had no care for anyone in my life.
But then I realized, that is no way to live life. So here's what I did my friends...
I poured out all of my grief in to my hardcover book about to be released in which I did more exercises to bring myself back to reality.
That means, if you follow through and do this...
Understand that you will encounter your dark side VERY FAST.
And I want you to understand that in my hardcover book, I give you guided visualizations to implement that isn't as dark as this article.
Attempt everything I said today with caution. Attempt it carefully. Do not lose your fucking mind. Be mindful how far you take this.
Feel free to comment down below and let me know if this has helped you get over a breakup and/or a falling out with a business partner.
See you next time. If you made it all the way through this one, you have heck of a masculine mindset.
